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Dating

Advice About Dating

There are three main categories of advice:

  1. Dating

  2. Relationships

  3. Sex

If you don't find an answer to your problem in these columns, ask Doctor Love your own question!

17 and Pregnant

in

Start of a question about Dating

Hi, I am 17 years old i just dropped out of my high school due to conflictional reasons with a teacher. I had a part time job and worked with this guy. We went on one date in which we slept together. After that he decided to be no more than just friends. Which was fine with me cause my boyfriend of a year had just moved back home.

We had slept together March,30 it is now May,22 and i have not had my period yet. I am very worried and unable to sleep.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

First of all, I want you to promise me that you will not do anything without thinking through all your options.

I can't tell you what to do, but I will say that you need support during this time. You can go to Planned Parenthood and they will test you for pregnancy and counsel you for free. If you are pregnant, they can discuss your various options.

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28 Year Old Woman Who Never Had a Boyfriend

in

Start of a question about Dating

By the age of 28 I have never had a boyfriend or been asked out. I am not attractive- I am overweight and perhaps a bit different from the average girl- I have always had plenty of friends so this has never seemed a problem.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It is clear to me that this man is interested in you. When a person speaks under the influence of alcohol, his normal repressive mechanisms are softened, meaning that he usually says his truest feelings.

It seems to me that your self-esteem is so low that you can't see how much this man likes you. Not only does he like you, he also has the patience of a saint.

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30 and Clueless

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dr. Love, I am almost 30 and divorced for 7 years, no kids. I've only had 2 dates in those 7 years.

My problem is that I like this man who is an acquaintence (age 32) and I'm not sure how to tell if the feeling is mutual. He is VERY NICE and VERY SHY. He has complimented me when I've gotten my hair done and remembers totally mundane details of our conversations.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I love that you are asking if you should make some sort of move. Women ask me this question all the time. According to studies, women are the ones who make the first move each and every time! I call these first moves, 'Green Lights.'

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A Desperate Girl


Start of a question about Dating

Want to ask u one thing. How can i forget about him if I have to see him everyday? Me and him are very very good friends, and many a times the dividing line is quite blur, i found that one day i am in love with him, but too late, i know that he is secretly in love with another girl, then i encourage him to go further and then he succeed, he dates with that girl, and for 3 months, and then they broke up. But i know that he cannot forget about her.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I am sorry to hear that you are suffering from unrequited love. This is one of the most painful experiences in life. I think your pain is all the greater because you are so close to your love and see him every day. I can't help but wonder why you encouraged him to date this other girl.

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A Fool for Love


Start of a question about Dating

I believe that life is all about taking risks but at some point the risk can be good or bad. I was in florida last week and while in this store one of the employees caught my eye. we spoke for a few then i was called away by a relative. i returned maybe a half hour later and the guy was gone.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It sounds like you have a plan for how you could contact this man, but you are hesitating to put your plan into action. You need to understand more about why you are holding back. Are you afraid that the guy will think that you're a stalker? Are you afraid that being so pushy would ruin your chances with him?

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A Good Man is Hard to Come By

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dear Dr. Love I sure hope you can help me. I am a 34 year old single female and I share a house with my mother.

I have been dating this man off and on for almost two years, he turns 35 in May and he shares a home with this 84 year old grand mother and his disabled brother. I work as a professional secretary for a home health agency. He works two jobs, one as a deputy jailer and the other for the department of highways. He was married in 1997 but divorced in 1998.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have asked me two questions. What's his problem and do you have a future?

This guy seems absolutely terrified to become too close to you. He holds back physically by not penetrating you, and he avoids getting together for extended periods of time when you are both free. He is scared stiff, well not literally, but in every other way.

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A Little Overweight

in

Start of a question about Dating

Okay Dr. Love here it goes.

I think I am in a relationship with a wonderful man. You see He and I are best friends and I have fallen in love with him. He on the other hand says that he loves me but is not in love with me(whatever that is supposed to mean). We spend all of our time together and yes we are sexually active with each other only.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I am very distressed to see that you turning this man's problem against yourself. ('I am a little overweight so I guess that 's why he is not in love with me. ') When you take the heat you protect this man from facing the real issue that he is struggling with: He has a deep fear of intimacy and commitment and he is using your weight as a smoke screen.

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A Saddened Individual

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dear Dr. Love

I had the opportunity of receiving an anwser from you about a year ago, so if someone needs you more than I, I understand. You see Doc. my life seems so meaningless lately. I hate going to work, and college, but most of all most everyone doesn't like me. The problem is everyone thinks I'm gay and all the teens in town call me that even if I drive by.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I'm sorry you're sad. It sounds like you don't fit in where you are. I imagine you doing better in a big city, where there are lots of people of all kinds. It sounds like you are in a small town that's comprised of narrow minded rednecks and teenage guys who are terribly afraid of their own homosexual tendencies.

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Afraid of Adopting a New Behavior

in

Start of a question about Dating

Hello Dr. Love,

I am a 36 year old woman who is happy with myself and my life and need some professional advice. Upon reflection, I have realized that virtually every man with whom I've been in a relationship has been emotionally inaccessable. This fact probably isn't a surprise to a psychologist as my father died when I was only 6 years old and I even consiously used to think 'this time I'm going to win'.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You remind me of the man who is attracted to sexy blonds who break his heart. One day he vows to only date dowdy matrons for whom he has no attraction, thinking that this plan will protect him from heartache.

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Afraid to Ask Her Out


Start of a question about Dating

Hello Dr. Love,

I am a 16 year old male, and I have had my eye on this beautiful, charming girl (or should i say young woman) for a long time. I have been debating whether or not i should ask her out. I always tell myself to wait and see if she shows anything to even hint that she likes me, and thee are many things she does that could be signs that she does. I just am really shy, and I do not think that I am good enough for her. I need advice on what I should do. Thanks

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You sound absolutely adorable. Your problem isn't that you are shy (many people are) it's that your self-esteem isn't where it should be (I don't think I'm good enough for her). How come you don't you know how great you are? Just from reading your question, I saw special qualities in you--honesty, openness, ability to care.

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