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Relationships

Advice About Relationships

There are three main categories of advice:

  1. Dating

  2. Relationships

  3. Sex

If you don't find an answer to your problem in these columns, ask Doctor Love your own question!

In Love With a Man in Prison


Start of a question about Relationships

DEAR DR.LOVE

IVE BEEN WITH THIS GUY NOW FOR 2YRS.I LOVE HIM TO DEATH,BUT HIS BEEN IN AND OUT OF JAIL FOR THE LAST 2YRS.HES IN JAIL NOW FOR AT LEAST 6MONS TO A YEAR.HE SAYS HE LOVES ME AND WANTS TO CHANGE,BUT IVE HEARD THAT BEFORE I KNOW HE WILL NEVER CHANGEHES JUST ONE OF THOSE WILD KIND OF PEOPLE.

SHOULD I JUST LET HIM GO OR SHOULD I WAIT AND TRY TO MAKE THINGS WORK

Start of Dr Love's Answer

In your letter, you say loud and clear that you know your boyfriend will never change. So, the question here is, why do you want to try to make things work when you know they never will?

It sounds like you are in a conflict between your head and your heart. Your head knows this man is beyond repair, but your heart keeps wishing that you can change him.

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Sleepovers with Single Mom & Kids?

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Start of a question about Relationships
I've been dating a single mother with two pre-teen children for six months.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Wow! I hope you can feel my admiration for you coming through the screen. What a responsible and mature man you are. You are going to make such a wonderful stepfather to these kids and husband to your wife to be.

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In Love With a Man in Prison


Start of a question about Relationships

DEAR DR.LOVE

IVE BEEN WITH THIS GUY NOW FOR
2YRS.I LOVE HIM TO DEATH,BUT HIS BEEN IN AND OUT OF JAIL FOR THE LAST
2YRS.HES IN JAIL NOW FOR AT LEAST 6MONS TO A YEAR.HE SAYS HE LOVES ME
AND WANTS TO CHANGE,BUT IVE HEARD THAT BEFORE I KNOW HE WILL NEVER
CHANGEHES JUST ONE OF THOSE WILD KIND OF PEOPLE. SHOULD I JUST LET HIM

Start of Dr Love's Answer

In your letter, you say loud and clear that you know
your boyfriend will never change. So, the question here is, why do you
want to try to make things work when you know they never will?

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36 and Waiting Patiently

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Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Good to hear your update. I am glad, but not surprised, that my original advice helped. The reason I'm not surprised is because, for the last 15 years, I have been conducting clinical and laboratory research with real couples. So, the advice I offer has been scientifically tested and proven effective at my Center for Emotional Communication, here in New York. O. K. Back to the question.

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48 Year Old Married Man Who Wants to Cuddle a 23 Year Old


Start of a question about Relationships

I am 48 years old. Happily married, with a five year old child. I love my wife and do not want to hurt her in any way. But, I've reached the point in my life where I'm expected to be mature, responsible, sober, etc., etc.

There is a younger girl (23) who likes me as much as I like her. Not sexually, but deeply. I'd like to help her out of some financial trouble, 'cuddle' with her occasionally, and be the 'me' I want to be. Is this dangerous or harmful? This is not for sex, but for a deep friendship.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

O.K. 48 year old man that's expected to be mature, responsible, sober, etc. And, your marriage is in big danger, and you will soon see why.

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A Friend Who Judges Me

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Start of a question about Relationships

Dearest Dr. Love, I truly hope that you are well and happy. You deserve it. You touch so many with your advice and your kind words. Thank you kindly. I would be grateful if you could please help me. . .

I feel very confused, hurt and betrayed. I have been friends with a young man ever since I was 15 years old (I am now 24) and he is someone I truly care about, like a brother. I thought I could confide in him and that he would support me and try to understand whatever decisions I make.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

The kind words you shared with me in your letter tell me what a giving and loving person you are. I see such a contrast between how you treat me and how you are treated by others. You should be receiving from others the same loving treatment that you give to me.

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A Lost Soul

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Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love

I read some of the replies to letters you have answered and I felt that you would be able to help me. I will try to give as much information concerning my problem. Here it goes.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Your girlfriend is lucky to have such a devoted boyfriend.

This is a high maintenance relationship and it almost feels like you are carrrying her on your back. In answer to your first question, how can you help her deal with her problems, I think we need to encourage her to talk to a therapist.

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A Loving Hubby and an Embarrassed Son

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Start of a question about Relationships

I have a serious problem, I am a 41 year old mother/wife in a very loving realtionship. My only problem is that my husband has become very touchy lately, which I'm in love with, he is always touching and rubbing me pinching my butt putting his hands up my skirt, pulling on my thong straps, licking my cleavage, which is all great stuff. Except he does it in front of my son and his friends which embarasses my son.

What should i do about my very loving hubby and my embarrased son.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are in touchy spot! A horny hubby and a bashful boy is an explosive combination. You don't want to deflate your husband, but to allow him to continue is to torment your boy.

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A Recurring Disaster


Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Doctor Love,

I am currently in a relationship with a guy who is probably the most caring, attentive, and sweet person I have ever met. I want it to work more than anything to be with him. The problem I am having has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me.

Every time a guy I care about starts caring about me I freak out and find some way to mess things up. It's like I need to be treated badly in order to function. I know it's not healthy and I want to change it.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I understand the bind you're in. Since you're dad mistreated you, you only know how to be dumped on. When a guy is nice to you, you are like a fish out of water. You drown and the only thing you know to do is to put yourself back in the water, by either provoking your boyfriend to mistreat you or by distancing yourself before the abusive pattern starts all over again.

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About to Breakdown

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Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love:

I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. We seemed to be getting along well until just the other day. At the start of the relationship I lied to my boyfriend a lot. I didn't want him to know who I really was, I was ashamed, I didn't want him to know how old I was because he would not have even talked to me. He is ten years older than I am.

I regretted this since the day I did it. And since I feel extremely guilty about these type of things I told him that I had lied. He said that he loved me and all was forgiven.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Your situation is complicated. Before I attempt to answer your questions, we need to talk about a destructive pattern that is occurring in your relationship.

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