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Condom Query

in

Start of a question about Sex

I have a new boyfriend and we still use condoms for protection against STD and pregnancy. I'm not used to condoms anymore, since the last person I had sex with was my ex-husband. I took the pill so he didn't need to use condoms.

Now I wonder if he should use a new condom with every time we go at it, even if it is several times in a row in one night? Is it necessary to get cleaned before we do it again? Doesn't sound romantic.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Your question reminded me of a trip I took to the Caribbean. Stay with me now. . . there is a link! I went to a restaurant that was serving a buffet. While the entire buffet was all you could eat, they gave each patron a dessert coupon for only one dessert per customer.

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Lost the Condom

in

Start of a question about Sex

i was a virgin till the other day and we lost the condom he pulled out to check it and it was there then but when we some what started again when he left to go home it wasnt on him once we were done we never checked to see if it came off in me

well e-mail me back please i dont know what to do and if i am pregnet how to tell my parents

thank you.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

First of all, don't freak out unecessarily. You may not be pregnant. You should reach inside yourself and make sure that the condom isn't still inside you. You don't want to leave it inside.

Next, figure out when your next period is due. If you have a regular cycle, then you probably bleed every 25 to 30 days. Calculate when you are due again.

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Lost Your Sex Drive Since the Baby Came Along

in

Start of a question about Sex

hi dr.love,

ever since i was pregnant with my second child i have not wanted to have sex, she is now 9 months old, -- my husband -- i have rarely had sex.

with my first child i had to be on bed rest -- hemmoraged -- he was a preemie! i wasn;t allowed to have sex, so with my second pregnancy i was so scared to have sex, -- have the same condition, -- then my husband masturbated in front of me, at first i tyhought it was sick, -- then i really enjoyed doing it with him, -- i never want to have sex, i'd rather us masturbate together, can u tell me why? *

Start of Dr Love's Answer

As a result of the nightmare you suffered during your first pregnancy, you were naturally terrified to repeat the same experience. So, you substituted masturbation for intercourse.

The fact that you have never wanted to return to having intercourse makes sense. You don't ever want to risk reliving the nightmare of your first pregnancy.

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Needing Some

in

Start of a question about Sex

Dear Dr. Love,

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You sound like a maid in your own house, and, I think that in addition to "some" sex, you need "some" time off.

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I Promised To Be There For Her

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hi Dr Love,

I really love the way you tend to people's problems. Please i have a problem. There is a girl that I love and I said that I will always be there for her. We have been together for 1 year now. We had sex 6 times and now she says she is pregnant.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It's not clear what your question is.

Are you asking me what following through on your promise means now that she might be pregnant?

What did you mean when you made the promise? Oftentimes, people don't think about the tremendous responsibility that is inherent in a sexual relationship.

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He Cheated During Both of Your Pregnancies

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I met a guy 4 yrs ago whilst traveling and he moved countries to be with me. We had a really great relationship; enjoyed being together and were very comfortable & talked a lot.

After 2 years of living together I had a miscarriage and he confessed after this that he had been unfaithful. We split & didn't see each other for 2 months after which time we started spending time together again.

He seemed to have changed or at least grown up a bit.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

What a brave woman you are! It took so much courage to decide to go it alone rather than stay in a relationship in which you were being degraded.

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Is Anything Wrong with Me or Him

in

Start of a question about Sex

Hi Dr. Love,

I love your responses to the columns and I wish there were more persons like you who would do this type of job as good as you do.don't know where to start since this is really hard for me.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

What's wrong here is that you allow yourself to be mistreated again and again.

I notice that your entire life with him revolves around fooling yourself into believing that this time it's going to better or different. But a leopard never changes his spots. This man isn't capable of fidelity or commitment.

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A Little Worried. . .

in

Start of a question about Sex

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, we have sex a few times a week and when we started having sex we were very protective. He would wear a condom ALWAYS and I would be on the pill.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You both are very responsible and should be commended.

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Damsel in Denial

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dear Dr Love,

I don't know what to do. I am going through what I guess you could call a break-up right now, and I need some advice on what I should do. Let me give you a little bit of background info on the relationship before I get to my question.

I'm 25 and I had been seeing this guy who is 21 for over a year, but we never officially called ourselves 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. He sometimes slept with other girls while I was seeing him, but because he was never my 'boyfriend' I didn't have the right to be angry.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

The way you signed your letter says it all. This guy is unable to have a relationship with anyone and you know that deep down. He told you so himself when he said that he was raised to believe that love interferes with important goals and makes a person weak.

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She's Pregnant with Your Kid

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I been going out with a girl for 5 years off and on. She's a about a month pregnant with my kid. for the last couple months she been acting like a complete bitch. I try to talk to her about it but she don't want to listen.

Also i'm going to iraq for 8 months. I get this funny feeling that i want to leave her, but she's pregnant with my kid. It's weird she completly changed. We hardly ever talk on the phone anymore. She recently lost some close relatives. To make things worse she lives in Hawaii and i'm stationed in California.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I hear how fed up you are with your girlfriend's behavior. The last thing you want to do is act upon your annoyance by dumping her. There's a baby involved and that child needs a mother and father.

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