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Aging

Being a Widow is Easier Than Being a Divorcee

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Start of a question about Relationships

I've been married for 26 years. Within 6 months after getting married at the age of 20, I thought I'd made a mistake, but decided to try to make it work. Then I became a Christian and we had 2 children.

My husband came from an abusive childhood and learned at an early age to shut down emotionally, well, he never learned to take the walls down. He has been somewhat emotionally abusive to me over the years, but I stuck it out because of my faith, and for the kids (now, 21 and 23).

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It is so painful to be in a dead marriage. My heart goes out to you. Your problems stems from the fact that you place your own happiness too far down on your list of priorities. You are supposed to come first, which is not what's happening in your life. You aren't taking care of number one, so in my book you aren't following one of the most basic Christian tenets--'honor thyself.'

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Am I too Young

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Start of a question about Sex

Hey okay im a 13 year old girl and i have been going out with a 13 year old boy for about 4 months, he asked me if i would give him head someday.

I want to do it but i don't know if im to young. Do you think im too young to give him head and do you have any tips or advice?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

If you're asking me the question, 'Am I too young,' it's because you, yourself, had the feeling that you're too young. When the question doesn't come to your mind any more, then you know that you feel old enough.

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You Finally Heard Your Wife

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Start of a question about Relationships

After 7 years of marriage, with a lot of ups and downs of all sorts, my wife recently told me what I don't do for her that she needs, just as she has many times before, but this time I 'heard' it?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I totally understand your predicament. Your wife has built up a wall of resentment as a result of years of feeling unheard. She is surely wary of your break-through and is most likely afraid to be let down again. She is very likely using her anger as an armor to shield her from more hurt.

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30 and Clueless

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Start of a question about Dating

Dr. Love, I am almost 30 and divorced for 7 years, no kids. I've only had 2 dates in those 7 years.

My problem is that I like this man who is an acquaintence (age 32) and I'm not sure how to tell if the feeling is mutual. He is VERY NICE and VERY SHY. He has complimented me when I've gotten my hair done and remembers totally mundane details of our conversations.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I love that you are asking if you should make some sort of move. Women ask me this question all the time. According to studies, women are the ones who make the first move each and every time! I call these first moves, 'Green Lights.'

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Woman Whose Mate Needs More Foreplay

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Start of a question about Sex

DEAR DR LOVE, MY MATE AND I HAVE A WONDERFUL SEX LIFE. I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR ABOUT 2 YEARS.

IN OUR REALTIONSHIP THOUGH, HE IS TELLING ME THAT HE NEEDS MORE FOREPLAY THAN USUAL BECAUSE HE IS GETTING OLDER, CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHY THIS IS HAPPENING?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I sense that you are asking this question because you are worried that your mate may be losing his attraction to you.

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Wife Whose Husband Has Left

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Start of a question about Relationships

I need help! My husband walked out after 15 years of marriage. He does not want a divorce, He says he just needs some time to find out what he wants. He says he is confused.

His father passed two years ago. We gave up our life in CA to move home to take care of mom.

In these two years I have found out he has been talking to other women, 7 to be exact. Some are exotic dancers, that invited him to see them preform and he went. Some are pure trouble makers, who have called me at my home and my job.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You poor woman. Your heart has been turned to swiss cheese. My first observation about your situation is that you are taking a passive position. You are waiting on the sidelines until he gets 'it'out of his system and/or makes a decision about whether to come back to you or not. Meanwhile, where does that leave you? In doormat land.

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Woman Who is Afraid to Speak Openly

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Start of a question about Dating

I am a 28-year old divorced woman in love with a 42-year old divorced male with two teenage daughters, both of whom reside with their mother.

We met each other in the workplace; the first time we laid eyes on each other we were instantly attracted.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

When you have a feeling that speaking openly will cause your partner to freak out and leave you, you must listen carefully to your feelings and honor them.

Your feelings are right on target about this guy.

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Man Who Has Proposed Marriage to One Woman...While Being Married to Another

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Start of a question about Relationships

Dr Love,
I have been seeing a Canadian for 3 years whom I love with all my heart. He says he is in love with me also. But he says he's also in love with the mother of his children who he has lived with for 12 years. When hes in the U.S., he is with me, when he is in Canada, he is with her. He wants me to marry him so that he can get his Visa to live here permanently. She does not think he and I are seeing each other but that we are only friends and that I would only marry him out of friendship.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You said that it seems that he's having his cake and eating it too. Not only does it seem that way, it is that way. And, not only is he eating his cake, he's eating your heart out. This man sounds like a spoiled brat--throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way. The nerve of you not jumping at his marriage offer!!!

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