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Depression

Needing Love Again

in

Start of a question about Sex

Hello Dr. Turndorf,

My name is Mike and I'm 23 years old. My wife is 42 years old. I know that 's a big diffrence in age, but ever since I layed my eyes on her I just couldn't stop thinking about her.

Here is my problem, for the first year and a half our sex life was great, but now it's like she doesn't even want anything to do with me. Is it me or is there something that I'm missing in this battle to get some love time.

Please help me understand. Thank you for your time.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It isn't possible for me to determine what could be causing your wife's sudden lack of sex drive. I can throw out some possibilities and then you can rule out the possibilities one by one until you hit on the actual problem.

There are many reasons why a person can lose sex drive. Stress, depression, anxiety, physical illness, and hormone imbalances are all possible causes.

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Need Help

in

Start of a question about Relationships

need help I love my girlfriend very dearly and do not want to lose her. She is under the impression that I do not find her attractive. She is wrong because I would not be with her if I did not find her attractive.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Your girlfriend thinks she's fat even though she isn't . The thought distortion you describe is a symptom of one of two eating disorders: Bulimia Nervosa and/or Anorexia Nervosa. Bulimics and Anorexics share an obsessive concern with body size, fear of weight gain, guilt, poor self-image, and eating in secrecy.

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Needy

in

Start of a question about Sex

I've been married for 16 yrs now. And I've only been intimate with my husband.

For the past 3 months my husband has been unable to keep an erection, he has spoken with his doctor and it's been determined that this may be medically related. His doctor prescribed Viagra, but my husband complains about the side effects and refuses to take them or anything else.

I'm worried that 34 yrs old is too young to go without being satisfied. Thank you from NEEDY

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I think there is more to this story than meets the eye. If it is true that your husband's doctor suspects that a medical condition (such as diabetes, high blood pressure, stress or depression) is causing his erectile dysfunction, then why isn't the doctor treating that condition?

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Can a Large Penis do Damage?

in

Start of a question about Sex

Dear Dr. Love,

I am embarrassed to ask this question but I do not really have anyone else to ask. I was wondering if there are any actual risks to making love to someone with an exceptionally large penis.

My boyfriend is an athlete and bodybuilder and his erect penis is 11' long! (I measured) The diamater is nearly 8' long. I wonder whether this could pose problems in the future.

For example, what if things didn't work out with us? Does the vagina 'stretch' to accommodate-- and if so, does it'stretch' back?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

The vagina is made of up of flesh with tiny folds that expand and then contract. In childbirth, the vagina expands far more than it does when having intercourse, even with a man who has a large penis.

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Lost in Love

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You asked me to tell you what you can do to get on with your life and to possibly win his heart back. Are you aware that you are not clear about what you want? In order to get closure, you need to first resolve your internal conflict and decide where you want to place your energy: to moving on or winning him back. In order to resolve the conflict, you need to be clear on how you feel.

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Obsessed

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr.

After reading your advices to other people I know you can help me. Since the first time I saw this guy and he say hello to me, I fell in love. He spend 3 months to reach me and talk to me, while I was eagerly waiting for him to approach (during those 3 months he sent me a lot of corporal messages and so did I, and I knew he liked me) Then, he spend another 3 months to ask for a date with me, which I accepted of course.  All this 6 months I was getting great spectations about him and thinking about him all the time.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

What a nightmare. You have fallen for a man that seduces and then abandons you. How strong you were to have given him up, and then face him on a daily basis. And, how sadistic of him to appear on your doorstep again.

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Depression

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dear Dr. Love:

I was eight months pregnant when this man walked into my life and he dated me and told me things that I wanted to hear he even went to Lamaze class with me and into the delivery room with me, but keep in mind this was not his baby and also he was a minister. Well I fell in love with this man and he also said he loved me to.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

My God you have been put through the mill. I am so sorry that you were hurt by this devil parading as God. You asked me to explain how a person can be so cold. This man is what we psychologists call a sociopath. The lay term for his kind is: con artist.

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Love that Never Goes Away

in

Start of a question about Dating

Hi, Dr. LOVE,

I have no idea whether you are going to help me to solve the problem or not because I know you only pick up three each day. I have had the problem for quite long. But still it still keep on bother me.

Sometime when I am alone or listen or see something that remind me the time when we were together, I cannot help crying. One time, accompanied with other problems, I even wanted to suicide. I think i am stupid.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

First of all, you must promise me that you will not hurt yourself. If you ever feel that you cannot control your desire to commit suicide, go immediately to the nearest hospital emergency room and get yourself admitted.

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Girl Whose Boyfriend Went Berserk When He Found Out That She Kissed Another

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

Hi. I'm Mary. . .and I'm 15. I hope you please answer this question in your column. . .it's very important to me.

Start of Dr Love's Answer
You are correct that you did nothing wrong. But, your boyfriend is very psychologically fragile and he experienced your previous attachment as a betrayal. Never mind that his reaction is illogical. Feelings are rarely logical. It sounds to me like your friend was very damaged early in his life, and your comments about having cared for another, ripped open an old abandonment wound of his.

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You Lost Her 13 Years Ago and Still Feel Depressed

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dr. Love-

13. 5 years ago I fell in love with a girl. After 6 months, she ended the relationship abruptly. I spent a month begging and pleading to try and get her back. I spent the next 3 months in the worst state of depression I've ever felt.

Since that break-up 13 years ago, there have been a couple times where she has come back to my mind and in both cases the result was a depression that lasted a couple days to a week.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I'm so sorry to hear the heartache you are suffering!

I understand that you wish your life were over so that the pain will finally end. Let me help you understand why I think you're suffering so much. You are experiencing what we call 'abandonment despair.'

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