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Menopause

He's a Sex Addict

in

Start of a question about Sex

My husband and I have been married a year and a half. We have been together for 5 years. he seems to feel that sex is the answer to everything.

When I come home from work after working 12 hours he wants sex. If I'm depressed, he thinks sex can cure everything. He claims he is never too tired. He pouts when I tell him I'm not in the mood.

Start of Dr Love's Answer
The problem here is that your husband has a very infantile, orally fixated personality. This type of disturbance is caused by his having been either emotionally starved as a young child and/or overindulged. The end result in both cases is a person who is a bottomless pit of need. His need is so huge that no amount of feeding satisfies him. This explains

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He Says You Didn't Tell Him Soon Enough

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hi, Dr. Love.

I find your answers so compassionate that I thought I'd ask you for some wisdom about a relationship problem I'm having. I am a 35-yr-old with a lot going for her. I've been divorced for a year and don't have a problem getting dates. Unfortunately, I am sterile (premature ovarian failure) and pregnancy is out of the question, barring some sort of miracle, although I'd love to adopt.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I am so sorry about your infertility. You will be a wonderful mother. I say 'will' be because you are obviously sensitive and caring. You didn't do a single thing wrong.

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Young Woman Who Bleeds After Intercourse

in

Start of a question about Sex

Hi Dr. Love,

I pray you answer my question because it's been bothering me for some time and I can't seem to find any answers. I'm twenty years old and living with my boyfriend. When we first had sex, it was MY first time. I bled, as I expected, I hear that's normal.

But what isn't normal, is that I still bleed. Sometimes it's not very much, sometimes it's a big mess. It doesn't hurt at all during sex, but I feel so upset and embarrassed afterwards.

My boyfriend is so sweet and sensitive about it, but I want it to stop. Please...can you help me?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Bleeding isn't normal and the only way to solve the problem is to diagnose the cause of it. You are going to need to see a good gynecologist who will examine you.

There are all sorts of possible causes from the bleeding from low estrogen levels leading to tissue erosion (more common in menopausal women) to infections to structural abnormalities.

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Condoms are Getting You Down

in

Start of a question about Sex

i am 56 my wife is 52 ,she is on HRT. She also went through the change a couple of years ago,but as she is on the HRT this has now brought back her periods,so would it be safe to have un protected sex.

The problem being that we all ways used condoms and in the last couple years after the foreplay and we are ready for sex time i have messed about trying to get the condom open then getting it on i have lost my erection. please help.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I understand that your question to me is about how you can maintain your erection when you use condoms. You are using condoms, I presume, because you believe that your wife is menstruating once again and therefore capable of becoming pregnant. I am not convinced that this is so.

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Husband Who is Living on a 'Bread and Water' Sexual Diet

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dr love, Please advise me on how to save my marriage.

I've been married for nearly 3 yrs and we are both 51. My wife has been married twice before. Sex has been difficult from day 1, my wife says she was abused by her first husband. I have tried my best to understand her and love her very much. I cannot kiss her and put my tongue in her mouth, give or recieve oral sex, touch her intimately, or really let go as she prefers things to be over quickly.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I hear how angry you are. Part of your distress stems from the fact that you are personalizing your wife's avoidance of sex (you take her refusal as a personal rejection) when, in reality, her avoidance of sex isn't about you. It's about her terrible fear of sexual contact, which surely brings up feelings and memories that she isn't willing to face.

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You Bleed After Each Act of Intercourse

in

Start of a question about Sex

Dear Dr. Love,

Hello, I am 24 years old and about 4'11' tall. My boyfriend is about 6'2' tall and I need to ask you a question about our sex life. His penis is about 71/2 inches long and quite thick. Every time we have sex, I begin to bleed excessively.

I was wondering if it was because of our size differences or if it was something more serious. When he puts it inside me I usually don't start bleeding until he puts it all the way in.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Bleeding is not normal. The vagina is made to stretch. Think about childbirth, in which your vagina has to widen to accommodate a far bigger package than a 7 1/2 inch penis!

The fact that you bleed when he enters you deeply makes me wonder if your cervix is irritated or infected. The best bet is to make an appointment with your gynecologist and get checked out.

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Crying, Grieving and Hopeless

in

Start of a question about Sex

After listening to you on Women for Women I have gathered my last shreds of hope, attempted to cohesively organize them and mail this question to you.

I will summarize as succintly as possible.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I am so sorry to hear how you've been suffering. I know you have asked me if there are remedies that you can take to increase your sex drive and performance, and I list all sorts of products in my Wellness Dictionary.

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Woman Who Has Troubling Achieving Orgasms

in

Start of a question about Sex

I AM NOT CURRENTLY ON ANY MEDICATIONS, I HAVE ASKED MY DOCTOR TO HELP AND OF COURSE SINCE HE IS A MAN HE DIDNT UNDERSTAND AND I WAS JUST TOTALLY EMBARASSED. (SORRY IF MY SPELLING IS BAD).

ANYWAY I HAVE TROUBLE HAVING AN ORGASM. THIS IS NOT A JOKE AND IS DRIVING ME CRAZY. I AM MARRIED AND OF COURSE MY HUSBAND DOESNT KNOW THIS BECAUSE I FAKE IT SO HE WONT THINK IT IS HIS FAULT.

I DOUCHE WITH REGULAR WATER WITHOUT PUTTING ANYTHING IN IT. GOSH CAN YOU HELP ME. I DONT WANT MY HUSBAND TO FIND OUT SO REALLY CANT GO ANYWHERE ELSE.

PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I hear how distressed you are. In order to figure out the causes of the problem, I need to ask you a lot of questions, so brace yourself.

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Desperate for an Answer

in

Start of a question about Sex

Ok. . . this is really stupid quesiton probably, but here goes. . . Me and my boyfriend of 3 years have decided that we want to have sex with each other. We are both 20 years old and both virgins in the sense that we have not engaged in penis to vagina insertion.

We tried to have sex a while back, but we were unable to insert his penis. We just tried again this weekend. We had a full 72 hours of just being together and lots of no-pressure alone time. . . still we were not able to get him inserted.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

No, you aren't doing anything wrong, in fact you shouldn't need to be jumping through hoops (stretching yourself, etc. ) in order to succeed at having him enter you. Remember, the woman's body is designed to stretch to accomodate the birth of a baby, and women don't use tools to stretch themselves in order to prepare for labor!

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Man Whose Wife Would Rather 'Pass' on Sex

in

Start of a question about Sex

Hi
I'm a 39 year old man and still love sex. But my wife (38) thinks it's some kind of chore. When we are making love it is great but that is only 1-2 times a month and that is not enough for me. How can I get her more interested in sex, or is it to late?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

What a great question. Before you can get her more interested in sex, we need to figure out why she isn't interested. There are quite a few questions here. For example, has she always been disinterested? Is this a recent occurence?

If her lack of drive is recent, then you will need to explore what turn of events could be responsible for the change in her.

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