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Financial Stress

My Heart Says Wait For Him

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I am a 50 year old woman who is divorced and tired of living alone. I have been in a relationship with a 48 year old man for two years, however, the last year has been hell.

He lost his job due to company downsizing. He has not been able to find another one that pays as much as the other one did, so he is working full time, making $6 less an hour and then working two nights during the week and Saturday nights as a handyman for friends of his who bought an old house that they are renovating.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You presented the problem so well that I feel like I've known you both for years. Your question to me is whether your should follow your heart and wait for him or find someone else who you can be with.

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Hopeless

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

I have been married for almost 8 years now. I have 2 wonderful children whom I love dearly.

My husband is not the same man that I said 'I DO' to. He has been replaced by some heartless self-rightious pig! He constantly is verbally putting me down and sometimes he even does it to the children. He has broken practically every dish and nick-nack in my home.

I have stayed with him because quite frankly, I have nowhere else to go or the funds to start again. I realize how pathetic I sound and like something out of an afternoon talkshow.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You do sound hopeless. My answer will only focus on helping you to take charge of your life.

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You Want Me to Tell You "Get a Job, You Bum"

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hi Doctor Love  I really like your advice column and now find myself needing some advice. I hope something can save my relationship.

I am a 46 year old male who has been living with my 82 year old mother for the last 10 years. In 1995 I met the love of my life. She is 50. She is the type that always likes to serve and help people. She shows a lot of compassion. Sine I met her, I have been through probably 10 jobs. There is a lot that goes with that subject. I'll save it for later.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Sorry to disappoint you. I don't call people names and I wonder why you are so quick to invite a verbal lashing! It sounds to me like you are a professional target. If your girlfriend isn't dumping on you by reminding you that you are out of work and too poor to wine and dine her, then you pick up where she's left off and dump on yourself.

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Sick of the Rollercoaster

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dr Love, I've written to you before, implemented your suggestions, and yet find myself mired in a quagmire.

My ex-fiance has been on again off again in a manner that has my head spinning. We were out in California visiting my daughter over Labor Day, and the last day we were there, she grew increasingly abrasive, culminating that night when she yelled at me telling me she didn't want me as a part of her life.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are being abused by a woman who sounds like she is suffering from a borderline personality. No wonder you are sick of your life with her. You asked what you can do when she becomes abusive.

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The Longer You Live, the More You Screw Up

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

I am 33 and I have two daughters, 15 who lives with her father and an 18 month old that I share custody of with her father. My husband left me 6 months ago after being together 7 1/2 years, married for 3 1/2. He is younger than me, he just turned 30. He told me he should never have gotten married and had a child until he was in his 30's.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

What I see is that the longer you live, the more you trash yourself. When trashing yourself isn't sufficient, you find men to give you even more lashes. Clearly you are suffering from what is called the Battered Child Sydrome. You felt rejected and worthless as a kid, so your mind thinks that this is the way life is supposed to be.

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Wondering Whether to Tell Her That You Still Love Her

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dear Dr Love,

I met my girlfriend Carly on 21st February 2001, the night we met we had no idea what would happen, what would become of us. Five months later and we are apart, we broke up three months ago, my life was turned inside out, upside down when she left me, I left college, I quit my job and I turned into a monster that no-body, not even my friends knew. I drank, I smoked, I took drugs, just to numb the pain of losing her, I still feel cut up inside, she went back to her ex-b/f and he messed her about again and now she has split up with him.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I have understood that you and Carly have stayed friends since the break up. Your fear is that if you tell her that you love her she will run from you and the friendship, leaving you with nothing, not even the crumbs of her friendship. You must have a good reason for fearing this outcome.

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Your Wife Thinks You're Made of Money

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hi my wife has been giving her mother money off of our credit card to help her with hard times.  Her mother had to quit her job for health reasons and she is having a hard time dealing with this right now.  But we have over $9500.00 credit card balance that I am trying to get paid off. 


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I can see why you are in such a pickle. Your wife is in a delicate state right now, and the last thing you want to do is upset her more. I am afraid, however, that silence is not an option. Not unless you want to watch yourselves slip rapidly into financial ruin!

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Man Who Has Been Told That He Has the Mind of a Ten Year Old

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I am a 45-year-old white male who is handicap, [my dad told me that the doctors do not know what type of handicap it is, I lost oxygen after I was born -- my IQ is 75% & I am boarder line retarded.

Dad says I have a mind of a 10-year-old kid. ] I am dating this 30-year-old part black [her skin looks mainly tan like she is from Hawaii or from the beach] woman my dad does not want me to date her & he says it is not because of her skin color.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I am very upset to hear what you are being put through. Your father is behaving as though you are a complete mental incompetent, which clearly you are not. Your letter was logical and beyond the type of letter that a ten year old couldn't write!

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Feeling that You Have No Future

in

Start of a question about Relationships

G'day Dr Love.

I have been with my boyfriend since the day we started going out and that was over a year ago. I am separated for 2 years now and have 2 daughters (6 & 2). My ex husband and I are sharing custody (one week off). My boyfriend adore my kids.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I can see why you feel hopeless about your future. So does your husband.

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Teen Who is Attracted to Older Women

in

Start of a question about Sex

Hello Dr. Love Please just read this e-mail and help me out cause you are my last option. Im a kid ok and I have no money to pay you but I need advice real bad.

It's this fetish i have, Im an 18 year old who is absolutly infatuated and turned on by older women from 30-45. I don't know what to do or where i can locate older women on the internet that are into younger guys. I constantly think about my friends mothers in bed with me. people that i have told this to just think Im desperit, but Im not i have no attraction to women my own age.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have begged me for a response, and so I'm answering you. Since I am not a matchmaker, I assume that you aren't asking me how you can find older women. I'll leave the hunt to you.

Your other question, 'I don't know what to do' isn't quite clear to me. Are you asking me to help you understand this 'fetish?' That I can do.

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