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Lost in Dallas

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hi Dr. Love!

I have a problem I need advise on. I have been seeing a man who has been a widow since December of 96. His wife died of cancer. We have been seeing each other since March of this year. We met through a dating service and I told him that I felt we should just be friends until he had time to see what he really needed and wanted.

We have really gotten close very fast, we have not said the I Love You words yet but I feel he wants to but is afraid he would be disrespecting his diceased wife. I am trying to be patient I know he needs it.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

First of all, you make it sound like being selfish is wrong. You are supposed to be selfish! If you don't take care of number one, who will?

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How Can I Get my Family Back?

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I have been going with this girl for about 3 years of and on. This last time I lived with her for a year and a half. She has a little girl 4 years old who I'm very close to. I was with her more than anybody.

We both lost our jobs about the same time, mine due to a work injury. We were stressed out and I was getting depressed. I finally got help for that but it was too late. She told me to get out and when I was in the hospital she got rid of my stuff. I still can talk to her and she talk to me just not about us.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

What a sad story. It feels like she's tied your hands.

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Does He Like Me?

in

Start of a question about Dating

I have liked this man for over two years and I don't know if he feels the same way. Please don't feel bad of me when I explain. I am 28 and he is 62.

He is a partner in the letting agency that rents my flat. He does have a partner who he has been with for over 7 years but I've heard she doesn't treat him right. She throws herself at other men and she behaved like this at the office Christmas party and this was when he was going through cancer.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Since he knows that you like him, he wouldn't be striking up a conversation with you if he weren't interested in getting to know you more.

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Will I Ever Accept Myself?

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dearest Dr. Love,

I must thank you with all my heart for your precious help and for the concern you have for all those who need advice. I always read your column and I truly think that every single advice you give is brilliant and very helpful. Thank you kindly.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

When I read your kind and loving words, it struck me how generous you are with others and how unkind you are to yourself. The next thing I noticed is that you give yourself permission to put yourself down.

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Less Than a Woman

in

Start of a question about Relationships

In April i underwent emergency surgery and when i got to the recovery room my husband was crying when i asked why he said the took both my ovaries cause they were full of cancer that left a scar from my belly button to my pelvic area and then we found out i had colon cancer and had to get treatment.

none of my hair is falling out or any thing but i had to get a mediport put in my chest and it is visible my husband can't get sexual with me cause of the physical scar and mediport and i already feel like half a woman with my ovaries being gone.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have been through a nightmare. You are hardly less of a woman for having survived this incredible ordeal. You have come through a life threatening illness and you are scarred emotionally and physically.

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He's Dying and Shutting You Out

in

Start of a question about Relationships

My boyfriend is dying of cancer and may not live to see 2003.

We have been dating for 6 months and are in love. As he gets sicker he is pushing me away and wont let me see him regularly. He says he doesn't want me crying over his coffin. I have begged him to not shut me out but he wont listen.

I feel as though I've already lost him and it hurts so bad. How could he not want my love and support in a time like this? I dont know what to do. Should I stop trying to be with him and let him close out his life the way he wants to?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I am so sorry to hear that you are losing your beloved boyfriend. The fact is that you have no choice but to allow him to close out his life as he chooses; but, we need to be sure that he is being truthful about what he actually wants.

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This is a Doozy

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love:

I am a great fan of your advice, and I need some of your superb wisdom. This is a doozy, so hold on.

I met a woman through friends last July. We had both been hurt by less than admirable partners. She had a 4 yearold, the father never married her, was controlling and not loyal to the relationship. She had moved out on her own 8 months before. We hit it off immediately and had a fantastic soul connecting relationship until Nov when her ex started with 'I've got cancer and won't see my son much longer etc etc. '


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Thanks for the kind words about my advice to others. Let's hope that my answer to you hits the spot.

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Your Girlfriend Won't Stop Crying

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I need some advice, but let me first give you some background info. I have been with my girlfriend for alomost a year now, i am 22 and she is 19. We have a very honest and open relationship w/ each other and there is realy nothing we keep from each other.

i go to school about 2. 5 hrs away from where she lives (and goes to school), but we see each every weekend.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are so sweet to write and ask for help for your girlfriend. You have asked me to give you some idea of what may be troubling her.

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Girl in Chronic Pain

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I am 17, I have several soft tissue diseases and the chronic pain that I have to endure everyday is tough on my boyfriend. He is empathetic, but not sure how to deal with it when I'm am pain.

It is a strain on our relationship and I don't want to start feeling as if I'm a burden, like I used to when I first started having the problems. He has helped me through so much in the past year, but it is getting harder on him, I know.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have been on my mind ever since I read your letter. My e-mail program in box is so overloaded with mail that I have had to spend literally hours searching through all my letters in order to be able to find yours again. That's how much you touched me.

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Blended Family Blues

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love, I have a question for you. . and I hope somehow you can give me some helpful advice. I live in the Northeast part of the US. . . and have been divorced for 7 years. I raised my beautiful daughter all my myself. . . . and shared custody of her with her mom (who lives only 10 miles away)

I've been very lonely. . . . devoting my whole life to my precious daughter. I have no family left. . . my dad died several years ago from cancer and my mom died when I was only 13 months old.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Thanks for the excellent question. I have a lot to tell you about what's going on and I hope that you keep a very open mind. You will need to open every fiber of your mind to make this blended family work.

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