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Relocation

How to Get Her to Move on

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Start of a question about Relationships

Dr. Love,

I have a serious question. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now. I moved away from my parents about a year ago. I am 20 years old and I am wanting to get married to my girlfriend.

She tells me sometimes that she can't wait but other times she is ok with living with her parents. I am getting so tired of going to her parents house and it feels like we are watched all the time. She is always having to report back to them about what she is doing. We have been arguing lately about this matter and I feel like it is going to separate us.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I hear that you're frustrated and worried that your relationship won't survive the problem you're now facing. Here's my understanding of what's happening. Your girlfriend is terrified of her parents' disapproval so she won't park her car at your house precisely because they wouldn't approve of her sleeping over.

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In Love with Two Women

in

Start of a question about Relationships
I've been in a relationship with a wonderful woman for two years and I love her very much. We're compatible in every way that matters. However, I've recently moved a great distance away due to my job and I will likely be here for the next year or more. We talk on the phone daily and see each other for about one weekend a month.<

Start of Dr Love's Answer
First let me say how much I admire your integrity. It is extremely mature and honorable of you to not act on the strong feelings you have for your former girlfriend. It is also commendable to see the way you are patiently analyzing the situation.
 

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Meant to Be

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I met him at work, the moment we looked at each other something happened. He completely changed how things were in my life. He gave me his number and we quickly started seeing each other. Everything was perfect. You know that feeling when you finally know that you met the one? That's how I felt and he even told me I was perfect for him. We were compatible in every possible way...

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Oh my goodness. Your story makes me want to weep. I am so sorry to hear what's happening to you. As I read your story I had the feeling that there is something blocking your beloved and it isn't the age difference. There is just something about his objection that doesn't ring true to me.

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Should I Contact Him?

in

Start of a question about Dating

Hello Dr. T,

I AM 31 YEARS OLD SINGLE WOMAN LIVING IN THE UK. RECENTLY I HAVE MET A GERMAN TOURING STUDENT WHILE BOTH LOOKING FOR ACCOMMODATION FOR A NIGHT WE ENDED UP HAVING DINNER AT THE SAME RESTAURANT AND THEN A DRINK BEFORE EXCHANGING E-MAILS AND PARTING.

HE CONTACTED ME A DAY LATER AND WANTED TO VISIT ME IN MY HOME TOWN. I LIKED HIM AND I HAD THE IMPRESSION THAT HE DID TOO SO I GAVE HIM DIRECTIONS ON HOW TO GET THERE. HE ARRIVED AND STAYED FOR ONE DAY. I MET HIM AFTER WORK. WE HAD DINNER AND PLAYED POOL TOGETHER.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Oh my heavens. You didn't do anything wrong! Clearly he liked you, to the point that he arranged to come to your home town to see you again.

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He's Issued an Ultimatum

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hi Dr. Love.

I am a college female and I am desperate for advice. I am in a two-year relationship with someone that I love so much, but when he does something wrong I let him get away with it after staying mad for a day or so.

However, I only did one thing wrong by not trusting him and he wanted to break up until I begged him not to. He set down rules such as I cannot look at his cell phone or ask where and with whom he goes on the weekends.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

First thing, no decisions should be made in the heat of anger. Second, let's talk about what you call your habit of letting him get away with doing something wrong. What exactly does this mean? Do you mean that you don't lay down rules like he does? Does it mean that you act out your anger rather than tell him in words what he's said or done that you don't like?

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How to Win Back Her Heart

in

Start of a question about Dating

Lost Love? I'm best friends with a girl who I have known for like 5 years. We have the perfect friendship. I'm always there when she needs me and and I always listen to what she has to to say.

The problem is I'm madly in love with her and have been from the beginning. We have had romance between us off and on and never had a bad split up it was always bad timing. I moved away, yet still talked to her every night before I went to bed for a couple of years. Well I moved back close to her.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You say that you want to win back her heart, which implies that you had it at one time and lost it. It sounds to me like you two are ships in the night. You once had a relationship, then you moved away, she found someone else, then you came back to be near her.

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How to Fix this Mess

in

Start of a question about Dating

I am 21 and have known this guy since I was in 7th grade. About 4 years ago we hung out almost everyday and he just treats me exceptionally well. I moved away and over the past 3 years he has sent me around 30 letters and I visit often.

I have been in love with him for so long but never told him because it would be selfish of me to impose my feelings on him since I am so far away. Lately his letters have been more intimate asking if we are wasting valuble time and he has started closing with love instead of your friend.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You say that you haven't heard from him since your last letter, but it seems that he began getting cold feet after his last letter to you in which he closed by saying that he loved you. Then on the phone he said that he never should have written that letter.

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He Has Many Moods

in

Start of a question about Dating

I am very confused. This guy I know has many moods. When I first met him he was nice and he flirted with me all the time. We also spent a lot of time together. Now I have no idea who he is. He will be nice to me one minute and then the next time I see him he is a total ass.

EXAMPLE: he asked me how my day was and then he told me about what he was going to do that night, normal right? Then I just saw him today and oh my god, what an ass. He made fun of me.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are right, love should bring out the best in you. This guy doesn't know which end is up. His moods fluctuate from day to day and as his mood shifts, so does his feeling about the world around him, including the people in his life.

It sounds like he has a mood disorder. Don't try to make sense of his behavior. He doesn't have a clue, so how can you.

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Confused

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hi, I have been married for 8 years and my husband still keeps talking to his ex wife on the phone and helps her financially. She lives in another country and their two teenager children are living with us.

once a year he goes and visit her and she is not dating anyone else. She thinks my husband is no living with me because he told her that we were separated. He doesn't let me answer the phone in case is her calling. i ask him why he doesn't want her to know about me and he says he doesn't want to hurt her feelings.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Your husband 's behavior is clear. He hasn't let go of his ex. He says he doesn't want to get back with her, and yet everything he does indicates that she is his first priority. He lies to her and pretends that he's separated from you.

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Very Troubled

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I have a question about love and realtionships.

I am a divorced mother of a 2 1/2 year old. A year and a half ago i involved myself in a relationship with a married man. He has since then left his wife and he also has a child who is 4 1/2. We are very passionate towards one another and i feel in my heart as though i have never loved anyone like this before and he tells me the same thing. He is a very caring person and struggles with his son and the separation a lot. I feel like he is my one true love and he has told me that very thing before also.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are very brave to take the stand that you have taken--that you won't see him until there are divorce papers in hand. The thing that makes you love him is his devotion. It is that very trait that has impinged on your relationship since, his loyalty to his boy always draws him back to him.

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