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Age Differences

Needing Love Again

in

Start of a question about Sex

Hello Dr. Turndorf,

My name is Mike and I'm 23 years old. My wife is 42 years old. I know that 's a big diffrence in age, but ever since I layed my eyes on her I just couldn't stop thinking about her.

Here is my problem, for the first year and a half our sex life was great, but now it's like she doesn't even want anything to do with me. Is it me or is there something that I'm missing in this battle to get some love time.

Please help me understand. Thank you for your time.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It isn't possible for me to determine what could be causing your wife's sudden lack of sex drive. I can throw out some possibilities and then you can rule out the possibilities one by one until you hit on the actual problem.

There are many reasons why a person can lose sex drive. Stress, depression, anxiety, physical illness, and hormone imbalances are all possible causes.

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I Don't Want to Depend on a Pill to Make Love with my Husband

in

Start of a question about Sex

HEY DR. LOVE,

HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL. ANYWAYS, I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ONLY 4 MTHS WITH A MAN I'VE DATED OFF AND ON FOR 2 YEARS AND WE HAVE A ONE YEAR OLD SON TOGETHER.

WE HAVE A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER AND HE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME AND OUR SON. HE IS 37 AND I AM 24, WE DON'T HAVE SEX AS MUCH AS I WANT TO. HE SAYS HE DOESN'T HAVE THE DRIVE THAT HE USED TO AND SOMETIMES HE JUST CAN'T GET HARD/OR IT WON'T STAY THAT WAY FOR LONG.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Sexual dysfunction isn't 'normal' at any age. In fact, a healthy man should expect to function sexually until his death. It may take longer for an older man to get an erection, his erections may not be as firm, and they may not occur as frequently as when he was younger, but, nevertheless, a man should expect his sexual organs to perform for the long haul.

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Bewildered

in

Start of a question about Sex

Hi! I have recently entered into a relationship with a younger man. . . he is 38 and I am 47. We have a wonderful relationship, but there's one thing that happens more and more and it really bothers me. Lately when we are having sex, he suddenly decides he has to urinate really bad and loses his erection. Now this may seem kind of silly, but is really beginning to bother me.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

First of all, please stop doing the self-blame thing. (I'm not attractive). We women are notorious for blaming ourselves for everything, even things that have nothing to do with us. So, blame the other guy, unless otherwise informed! This is a slight exaggeration, but I hope you get my point.

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I Thought He Loved Being with Me

in

Start of a question about Dating

During the first weeks of September, I met this guy. He works next to my company and we don't live far from each other. After 2 weeks we became friends but I started to develop love for him and it was so strong.

On the 13th of September, I called him and I wanted to tell him but I didn't. Saturday he called me to come to his flat and I did and I discovered that he does love me too. On Sunday we made love with protection.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

No wonder you're confused!

This guy came on really strong in the beginning. He wanted you to come over every day, and when you didn't come he pursued you.

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Scared of Rejection

in

Start of a question about Dating

I am 34 single male. I am a finance professional. I have a good friend who is 24 and is also a finance professional I know her for a year now.

Initially I saw her only as a friend and I always used to admire her intellectual prowess. But in the last 2 months or so I have developed a crush towards her. Because of the nature of the job we hardly meet each other. I don't know whether I love her and even if I love her. I am not sure whether she will love me.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I understand that you feel afraid of rejection. Since most people hide their feelings, you would have no way of knowing that everyone shares your fear! This means that if you wait to take action until you have no fear, you will end up a lonely old man! What you along with the rest of the human race need to do is to feel afraid and take action anyway.

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Will He Ever Be Ready to Commit?

in

Start of a question about Relationships

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He's 27 and I am 20. Although there is an age difference, he asked me to move in.

Well last week he tells me that he's not ready to move in together. He had a past relationship that lasted four years and said it ruined their relationship.

I know I am still young in years, but I am worried if he will ever be 'Ready' when it comes to the 'commitment'?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I understand your concern. You said that your boyfriend had a previous relationship that lasted four years and that'it' ruined their relationship. I assume that the'it' to which he refers is living together. I would be interested to know why he thinks that living together is what ruined the relationship.

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Torn Between Your Mother and Your Fiance

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I am torn between my mother and my future husband. I am engaged but he is from another state. (About a 17 hour drive). He moved down here for about a year or so, but hated it and missed his family, so he went back home. He wanted me to go with him but I couldn't at the time.

When I told my mother I was thinking about moving up there with him, at first she was supportive saying positive things about moving, but later she told me that she was only being positive because if she tried to discourage me I would just get mad and move.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are in a tight spot. Your mom is emotionally blackmailing you, which isn't cool at all.

I don't believe that you need to live in someone's back yard in order to maintain a connection. Many families live in close proximity but don't have a real emotional connection, while others live far apart but maintain strong emotional ties despite the geographic distance.

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Am I Missing Something?

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love:

I recently separated and am in the process of divorce from my wife. We have separated for a while and during that time I met a fantastic young woman. Young as she is 23 and I am 33. We began dating in November and soon she started throwing out the love thing and marriage.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

If I read your letter correctly, it sounds like this woman backed off and then broke up with you when you didn't immediately agree to marry her. I do smell a rat!

For one thing, I have to be suspicious about why she was in such an all fire hurry about getting married. The relationship was very new and she was pushing for commitment far too early in the game.

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How to Give Her Space without Exploiting Yourself

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

Hi, my name is Michael, I'm 25 years old and have been in my current relationship for a little over 3 months. My girlfriend is great, I really enjoy being with her and feel that I have much more in common with her than other girls I have dated-- and I feel confident that she feels the same way about me.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I am very impressed with how clearly you presented your predicament. It sounds like your discussions are open and honest, which is great. You need to ask her what you asked me above regarding whether she thinks a serious relationship needs to be smothering.

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What's Going Through His Mind?

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I met this guy at a church retreat when I was 15, he was 20. We fell head-over-heals for each other, but both decided that we would date when I was 18, realizing the age diffrence was too much. He respected me, never trying to gain anything sexual- he wasn't using me.

He was in college on the other end of the state and gradually started to pull away from me and his friends he left behind when he joined a student union. We talked every once in a while over the years, and he would drive two hours out of the way to see me but claimed he realized I wasn't his type.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

This guy fell for you when he was twenty and you were fifteen. You both decided to wait until you were eighteen in order to date each other. That meant that he had to wait until he was twenty three.

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