Home ›

Walking Away

Friend or Girlfriend

in

Start of a question about Dating

Ok, I'm 16 and a guy. I'm in love with my best friend (she's a girl). I love her so much. I think about her everyday. We wanted to date a few years ago but she is best friends with my sister too. We didn't want to hurt my sis, so we never dated. A few years later, I'm still in love with her.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It's clear that you want a romantic attachment with this woman and not a simple friendship. It's also clear that you don't want to 'move on.' I also heard you say that she doesn't want more than friendship with you.

Read More

She Likes Being Physically and Verbally Abused During Sex

in

Start of a question about Sex

I'm involved in a relationship where my partner is fond of being physically and verbally abused during sex. Recently, I've learned that she was sexually abused at a very young age.

Is my desire to please her sexually and take part in her violent, abusive fantasies serving as an unhealthy degradation or an open channel for venting emotions?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

What a sophisticated question. I think we need to ask your partner that very question. I would like her to talk with you more about why she wants to recreate the abuse she suffered as a young child. For example, does she believe that the recreation helps to work through the feelings associated with her abuse.

Read More

Falling Down in Desperation

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love.

I don't usually do this, but I'm falling down in desperation and my friends can no longer help me. I am 21 and in college. I have been seeing a boy (long distance) for about a year and a half. I love him very much and he feels the same way about me. We often talk about marriage and children but there is one MAJOR problem.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

My red flags went up when I heard you say that you've been suicidal. You need to be evaluated for medication and this is a top priority. If you don't know it already, let me tell you that your feeling suicidal is a symptom of buried rage.

Read More

Wanting a Heart to Heart

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hello Dr. ,

I did reconnect with my childhood sweetheart from over 25 years ago. We have gone on a few dates.

I agree with your paradigm that we often tend to heal childhood wounds through present relationships. I am a textbook example. I am aware that I only desired a romantic relationship with this ex as one way to heal the broken ties with my now deceased father.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I understand that this man is your unavailable father to the tenth power. He wants a fling with you on the side, but won't commit to you in any way. He can't even commit to a close friendship. This is too painful for you and you want to end the relationship. One part of you wants to just stop contact, but another part of you seems to want a final meeting with him.

Read More

Am I Sacrificing My Own Love

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

I love a married man very much (I'm mid-40's, he's 50). It was 7 months into our relationship before I found out he was married. He tells me now that he couldn't tell me for fear I'd break up.

I feel the whole world is my oyster when we're together: he has introduced me and my son to so many interesting and fun things (camping, sailing etc). We talk everyday on the phone for hours. I enjoy his company, our sex life, our conversations. He's truly the love of my life!

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are caught in a moral conflict. Your heart says stay with this man, but your conscience tells you that you are harming his family. Here my view of infidelity. I know that most people blame the cheater and pity the spouse who is being cheated on. The reality is that the cheater isn't the 'wrong' party and the one being cheated on isn't the innocent 'victim. '

Read More

We Need to Get Past This

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

My husband and I have been married for 9 months now. We have going through a lot of adjustments just as all newly wed couples do. However, it seems that we are just not stopping the constant arguing. Of course over the most rediculous things.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

First thing to do is read my book, Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First). You can order it at Amazon. com. The program I outline in the book has helped over 90% of all married, unmarried, and gay couples who use it stop fighting and create a loving connection.

Read More

Hanging on by a Prayer

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dr. Love, this afternoon my spouse called me a dumbass twice in front of our three small children and my teenage son when he became irritated with me during lunch. This isn't the first time that this has happened in our 4+ year old marriage (2nd time around for both of us). I replied back with, well that 's mature calling me names.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I hear you saying loud and clear that you don't want to leave this man. You have also said that you want to work your marital problems out. Only one problem. It takes two to tango. Your husband refuses to go into individual or marital therapy. Plus, he refuses to be responsive to your limit setting.

Read More

Wife Whose Husband Has Left

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I need help! My husband walked out after 15 years of marriage. He does not want a divorce, He says he just needs some time to find out what he wants. He says he is confused.

His father passed two years ago. We gave up our life in CA to move home to take care of mom.

In these two years I have found out he has been talking to other women, 7 to be exact. Some are exotic dancers, that invited him to see them preform and he went. Some are pure trouble makers, who have called me at my home and my job.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You poor woman. Your heart has been turned to swiss cheese. My first observation about your situation is that you are taking a passive position. You are waiting on the sidelines until he gets 'it'out of his system and/or makes a decision about whether to come back to you or not. Meanwhile, where does that leave you? In doormat land.

Read More

Guy Who is Madly in Love With His Best Friend

in

Start of a question about Dating

I'm currently living with a girl (as roommates) whom I've known for about 9 months now. I am madly in love with her and I've told her this. We last weekend kissed for the first time and then a lot more came to follow. I was under the impression that everything was going to be fine but then she said that she can't do this anymore because her heart isn't in it, and she's terrified of hurting me.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

It is very hurtful to be rejected by someone you care for. I understand your predicament, do you keep trying or walk away and begin the healing.

Before walking away, there is one thing you can do. You mentioned that you sense that your friend is afraid to be in a healthy relationship. Before leaving, it would be good to tell her what you told me.

Read More

Too Loving and Affectionate

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

I hope you can answer this question of mine, because I am stuck. I've been with my current girlfriend for only 3 months but I feel this sort of bond, a type of love that I've never felt before in my life. Before we got together we were very good friends and during that time I always wanted the chance to be the one that would be there for her.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

There is no such thing as being too loving or affectionate. You may be too affectionate for your girlfriend, but you aren't too loving in the abstract.

Read More

Syndicate content