Home ›

Abandonment

I'm Not Willing to Share Him

in

Start of a question about Relationships

It's been 2 weeks since I wrote a letter telling a man how I felt about him. I told him that I cared about him, but I cannot let my feelings get 2 involved because I know that he has begun to see another woman; he was not in the beginning. I told him that I was upset because I thought that we were working toward something special.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You asked me to explain this man's behavior to you. Before I do, I have to tell you that I felt so sad for you when you wondered if he started seeing someone else because he discovered things about you that he didn't like.

My goodness. It's obvious that you are a wonderful woman. Your only flaw is that your self-esteem isn't as high as it should be!

Read More

Long Distance Relationships

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I am a 22 year old lesbian and have been in a relationship for 3 months now. I met my gf online. Just giving it a try and we clicked from the start.

This is love at first sight. She lives 4 hours from me, and is a professional working at a firm. We're both college educated, as well, a very intellegent woman.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Your girlfriend is afraid of being abandoned by you. Her ex-girlfriend dropped her and she's afraid you're going to do the same. I know you think that she'd feel less insecure if you told her more often how beautiful she is.

Read More

Long Distance Lovelorn

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

I am hoping that you can help me. I have been in a relationship with a guy for several months, and things up to this point have been going very well. Since the start, we see each other frequently, talk every day, etc. We have had our arguments, but nothing really serious.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Dear Long Distance Lovelorn,

I hear how worried you are that you might lose this man. In reality, this guy has already abandoned you by taking the promotion. He never discussed it with you and simply took the transfer.

Read More

Can't Get No Satisfaction

in

Start of a question about Sex

Dear Dr. Love:

Being deeply into the mind body cleansing process, I continue to run into this same feeling concerning money, basic things to support me, and love given. Especially lately, I AM in a new relationship, a man who is mature and listens very well, expresses when he understands and doesn't, or wants time to process. That feels healthy to me.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You poor woman. It sounds like you have suffered every type of abuse as a girl. In your letter, it appears, however, that you are lumping two issues together: the emotional emptiness, the feeling that you can never be given enough, seems related to the emotional abandonment you suffered from your mother. This type of emptiness can be healed in a therapeutic relationship.

Read More

Love that Never Goes Away

in

Start of a question about Dating

Hi, Dr. LOVE,

I have no idea whether you are going to help me to solve the problem or not because I know you only pick up three each day. I have had the problem for quite long. But still it still keep on bother me.

Sometime when I am alone or listen or see something that remind me the time when we were together, I cannot help crying. One time, accompanied with other problems, I even wanted to suicide. I think i am stupid.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

First of all, you must promise me that you will not hurt yourself. If you ever feel that you cannot control your desire to commit suicide, go immediately to the nearest hospital emergency room and get yourself admitted.

Read More

Girl Whose Boyfriend Went Berserk When He Found Out That She Kissed Another

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

Hi. I'm Mary. . .and I'm 15. I hope you please answer this question in your column. . .it's very important to me.

Start of Dr Love's Answer
You are correct that you did nothing wrong. But, your boyfriend is very psychologically fragile and he experienced your previous attachment as a betrayal. Never mind that his reaction is illogical. Feelings are rarely logical. It sounds to me like your friend was very damaged early in his life, and your comments about having cared for another, ripped open an old abandonment wound of his.

Read More

You Lost Her 13 Years Ago and Still Feel Depressed

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dr. Love-

13. 5 years ago I fell in love with a girl. After 6 months, she ended the relationship abruptly. I spent a month begging and pleading to try and get her back. I spent the next 3 months in the worst state of depression I've ever felt.

Since that break-up 13 years ago, there have been a couple times where she has come back to my mind and in both cases the result was a depression that lasted a couple days to a week.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I'm so sorry to hear the heartache you are suffering!

I understand that you wish your life were over so that the pain will finally end. Let me help you understand why I think you're suffering so much. You are experiencing what we call 'abandonment despair.'

Read More

Torn Between Two Lovers

in

Start of a question about Dating

I have a girlfriend whom I love and I have another girlfriend whom I love too. How should I choose which one should I go for?

It's kinda difficult since I love them both equally and with pure heart. I want to have them both but practically it's next to impossible. So please enlighten me how to find peace of mind since I can't afford to lose both or even one for that matter!! Thanks

 

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You say that you aren't willing to lose one or both of these women. Since you are unwilling to choose, my first question is why can't have two girlfriends? Are you receiving pressure from one or both of these women to make a choice? Are you leading a double life and lying to them both?

Read More

He Now Wants to Be Just Friends

in

Start of a question about Dating

I have been in a relationship with a man for the last 11 months everything has been real good and I mean real good. All of a sudden he tells me that we need to slow things down and not see each other as much.

My family and his spent the holidays and birthdays together. I think that he is scared of the closeness that we have now. He says that we need to be just friends. I don't know if I can just be friends with him because I'm in love with him and want to be with him as a couple not as his friend.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I hear how upset you are.

There are two ways that you can handle this problem. The first would involve giving him the space he asks for. In many cases, the space diminishes anxiety and makes it possible for the person to reconnect at a later point. The problem, of course, is that the anxiety will rise up again and you will probably find yourself back at this same point once again.

Read More

He Wants to Be Friends

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I have been a relationship with a man for the last 11 months everything has been real good and I mean real good. All of a sudden he tells me that we need to slow things down and not see each other as much.

My family and his spent the holidays together, or birthdays. I think that he is scared of the closeness that we have now. He says that we need to be just friends, I don't know if I can just be friends with him because I'm in love with him, want to be with him as a couple not as his friend.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I think your assessment that this man is scared of closeness is dead on. Y

ou have two ways to handle this situation. I would say that both approaches would be appropriate. Depending upon what feels best for you as well as what you think would work best for him, you can choose either of the two approaches or a combination of both.

Read More

Syndicate content