Abuse (Physical)

You're a Human Punching Bag


Start of a question about Relationships

I have been with my boyfriend 2 yrs in April and most of the time we are arguing. I think it's something I'm doing wrong. I don't think I'm treating him right well.

I don't know what to think really. He says that I do alot of things wrong but the problem is I really try my best I don't think I am getting anywhere no matter what I do it's always wrong. Please help me give me some advice.

I think maybe it might be that we are not meant for each other but I hope that 's not true. Thank you for your time.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Your boyfriend tells you that you do a lot of things wrong. If nothing else, he should give you credit for your willingness to take all the blame for the problems in your relationship!

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Will I Ever Accept Myself?


Start of a question about Dating

Dearest Dr. Love,

I must thank you with all my heart for your precious help and for the concern you have for all those who need advice. I always read your column and I truly think that every single advice you give is brilliant and very helpful. Thank you kindly.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

When I read your kind and loving words, it struck me how generous you are with others and how unkind you are to yourself. The next thing I noticed is that you give yourself permission to put yourself down.

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Wanting a Better Home Life


Start of a question about Relationships

My husband and I have been together for almost seven years and married for 4 years. We both have been married before and have children from those marriages and one together, a 14 month old baby.

We met from a dating service. I moved from Canada to the US for a job promotion but shortly after being here I had to return home because I was having difficulty walking. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Right before I went back home because is when my husband and I met not face to face, just over the phone.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have been so terribly violated by your husband, I'm still reeling from your letter. You must resume therapy and discover why you would even consider going back home to him. I can give you some clues as to why.

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I Just Want to Die


Start of a question about Relationships

Hi. I have been seeing this chap for 3 years now. It has been a casual relationship but it still made me fall in love with him even though he had a on off girlfriend. Now he's back with her again and I love him too much to leave him and am scared if I leave I'll never find anyone or have to settle with someone I dont find attractive.

We have loans together and I've even lent him over 200 quid to get his flat together and he was coming on holiday with us in October. I dont know what to do i just want to die.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

When I read the last line of your question in which you said, 'I just want to die, ' my alarm bells went off. It's hard for me to assess just how depressed you are given our inability to dialogue back and forth. If you have come to the point of actually planning how you would do harm to yourself, then you are deeply depressed and in grave danger.

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Confused, but Very Afraid


Start of a question about Relationships

Hello Dr. Love,

I'm 25 years old and i'm seeing a 37 year old man and we been seeing and living with each other for 3 months. And this is the 3rd time he has hit me. This time he busted the blood vessles in my eyes.

no I did not call the cops I really wanna work things out and stay by his side I sound stupid don't I ? I want him to get help and we get past this. But what worries me because today he admitted to me that this wasn't his first time hitting a woman and when I first met him he said he never hit women and I'm confused but very afraid.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You should be afraid. This time he busted your eye, next time he may bust your skull. You are in a five alarm fire and you need to get help right away. I am alarmed that you want to stick by him and you need to find out why that is. I can bet that you were abused as a child, which would explain why you have chosen to be with another abuser.

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How Do I Not Send Mr. Fantastic Running?


Start of a question about Dating

Dear Dr. Love, First, I think you are terrific. You help a lot of people. Thank you.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Thanks for the great question. You gave me the vital clue to your problem when you said, 'When I decide a guy is cute and funny enough to flirt with. . . I fill it all with betrayal fantasies. I think I have a teeny little problem with TRUSTING men.'

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Hopeless


Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

I have been married for almost 8 years now. I have 2 wonderful children whom I love dearly.

My husband is not the same man that I said 'I DO' to. He has been replaced by some heartless self-rightious pig! He constantly is verbally putting me down and sometimes he even does it to the children. He has broken practically every dish and nick-nack in my home.

I have stayed with him because quite frankly, I have nowhere else to go or the funds to start again. I realize how pathetic I sound and like something out of an afternoon talkshow.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You do sound hopeless. My answer will only focus on helping you to take charge of your life.

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