Difficulty Committing

I Want What's Best For My Son


Start of a question about Relationships

I have a situation. I am a 20 year old mother of a two year old. I have been with my son's father for three years. About five months ago I went to a different state to visit my mother and friends because that 's where I grew up at.

My fiance and I have been having problems because he won't commit to me. He won't marry me and is always interested in doing other things. He won't take the time out for me and his son.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

The first thing you need to know is that you shouldn't be making a decision based on what is best for your son. You need to do what's best for you! If you are happy, then your son will be happy in the long run. If you make a choice that is good for your son, but bad for you, your misery will end up harming your son.

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Love of my Life


Start of a question about Dating

So here's the deal.There's this guy. The love of my life. We met one day (by accident) and we knew. The magic was almost touchable. It was an enormous thing between us two. We lived far apart but we kept on talking on the phone everyday, every night, and we hadn't even kissed. It went on for months. We were really young, but we knew what was happening was a big deal.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Wow, what a heartbreaking story! I cannot believe how brave you were in sticking to your guns and holding out for more than friendship.

I understand that you love him and don't want to lose him.

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Wanting a Heart to Heart


Start of a question about Relationships

Hello Dr. ,

I did reconnect with my childhood sweetheart from over 25 years ago. We have gone on a few dates.

I agree with your paradigm that we often tend to heal childhood wounds through present relationships. I am a textbook example. I am aware that I only desired a romantic relationship with this ex as one way to heal the broken ties with my now deceased father.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I understand that this man is your unavailable father to the tenth power. He wants a fling with you on the side, but won't commit to you in any way. He can't even commit to a close friendship. This is too painful for you and you want to end the relationship. One part of you wants to just stop contact, but another part of you seems to want a final meeting with him.

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The Pleasure Just Goes Away


Start of a question about Sex

My sex life used to be great but for the past month or so it has gone downhill. It is real enjoyable for the first 15 minutes or so then that pleasure just goes away and nothing happens.

Me and boyfriend have tried different things but nothing seems to work. My boyfriend thinks it is him and it really has an effect on our relationship and advise u could give me will be greatly appericated.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

It sounds like your pleasure reaches what is called the plateau phase and then fades away before you peak out at orgasm. A lot of things can cause the problem you describe.

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Older Woman Who Goes for Younger Men


Start of a question about Dating

My question is this. . I am a 44year old female. I have 7 children, rangeing from 25 to 13is the youngest. . I have been married 3 times. My last husbond was killed in a head on car crash 2years ago. . We were married for 14 years. We had a very open relationship.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

It sounds like you are upset over not being interested in men your own age. I think you sense that your inability to become interested in men your own age is a symptom of an issue that you aren't addressing. What could that issue be?

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Man Whose Wife is Having a Cyber Fling


Start of a question about Relationships

Dr. Love, I am a w/m/36, in the military for 15 years, married for 13. For maybe the last 5 years my wife and I have been drawing farther and farther apart.

Recently, I discovered that she has fallen in love with a cyber friend, one who she has never met. She and I went to see a marriage counselor and during the course of the first three sessions, she committed to trying to save our relationship.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I can see why you are at a loss. Couples sessions have been aborted, meanwhile, she is in individual therapy, which pretty much takes you out of the communication loop.

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The Ride's Killing Me


Start of a question about Relationships

The ride's tearing me apart and I don't know how to get off; I don't want to get off. Help!

I'm 36 years old and have admitted commitment issues. I consider myself very attrative, in good physical shape, and have a succesfull career. I've had a lot of wonderful women come into my life and none of them were 'the one. 'I could use any excuse why, they just weren't.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I will answer your questions in the order that you presented them.

1. Why did she become so distant when I was in her house even though I was invited. Out of town it was wonderful?

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Woman in Love With a Younger Man that Won't Commit and Comes too Fast


Start of a question about Dating

I'm a 32 year old divorced mother of 3 ...about a year ago I met this wonderful man who happends to be 7 years younger then me..He's 24.. age has never been an issue with me and he has no problems with it either. We have been liveing together for about 8 mths now.. We are in love and i can see a future with this man... my children adore him and we do work very well together... I have 2 concerns tho..


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Let's start with your first concern--his remarks about,'The future isn't set' and,'I can't tell you what you want to hear.' No, you aren't paranoid; you are hearing loud and clear that the man has a resistance to becoming committed.

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