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Passivity

Needy

in

Start of a question about Sex

I've been married for 16 yrs now. And I've only been intimate with my husband.

For the past 3 months my husband has been unable to keep an erection, he has spoken with his doctor and it's been determined that this may be medically related. His doctor prescribed Viagra, but my husband complains about the side effects and refuses to take them or anything else.

I'm worried that 34 yrs old is too young to go without being satisfied. Thank you from NEEDY

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I think there is more to this story than meets the eye. If it is true that your husband's doctor suspects that a medical condition (such as diabetes, high blood pressure, stress or depression) is causing his erectile dysfunction, then why isn't the doctor treating that condition?

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Love that Never Goes Away

in

Start of a question about Dating

Hi, Dr. LOVE,

I have no idea whether you are going to help me to solve the problem or not because I know you only pick up three each day. I have had the problem for quite long. But still it still keep on bother me.

Sometime when I am alone or listen or see something that remind me the time when we were together, I cannot help crying. One time, accompanied with other problems, I even wanted to suicide. I think i am stupid.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

First of all, you must promise me that you will not hurt yourself. If you ever feel that you cannot control your desire to commit suicide, go immediately to the nearest hospital emergency room and get yourself admitted.

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Not Sure She'll Drop By

in

Start of a question about Dating

Well I happen to like this girl, but she is from a conservative family and doesn't go out with anyone. So i have difficulty meeting her.

I initially wanted to be friends with her but I actually am looking for a long term relationship. I talk to her almost everyday online but i am never sure when she'll drop by. I seriously don't want to lose her.

Could you help me out in this.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It is clear that you care deeply for this girl. Why don't you open your heart to her. Tell her exactly what you told me.

That you care for her and want to have a relationship with her. Tell her that you are never sure when she'll drop by and you would like to figure out a way of having more frequent contact. Tell her you don't want to lose her.

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How Can I Beat My Shyness?

in

Start of a question about Dating

Hello,

About 6 months ago, I saw this gorgeous guy while on a night out with a couple of friends and then this guy came to us to say hello to my friend that knows him. When I saw him I was instantly attracted to him and later I found out he was talking about me to my friend, Something about me being sexy and nice.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have two separate issues. The first is the way you freeze up due to your fear of rejection. The second is deciding if you want to proceed with this particular guy that you like.

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She wants friendship, but I want to give her love

in

Start of a question about Dating

I was in a very brief and fast-paced relationship with a wonderful girl who is a senior in high school. At first things were great and we got so close. Then out of the blue she tells me she doesn't want to be in a relationship and that she'd rather that we be friends.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

First of all, I have to correct one thing you said about having to give your girlfriend unconditional love. Adult love relationships actually aren't and shouldn't be about unconditional love. The only relationship on earth that is supposed to be unconditional is the relationship between a parent and a young child.

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He Puts You Out by Not Putting Out

in

Start of a question about Sex

Dr. Love,

My boyfriend and I are obviously in a rut. I'm going to stop pressuring him about marriage, money, and our future. But I can't even get sex out of him. I am tired of asking him.

I'm a very attractive girl and I've never had to ask. When I think he wants to he makes it to be funny. Like so baby you want my dick? I told him it wasn't funny to joke on a sore subject.

I don't know what to do I am so stressed out from my two jobs you think he would see I need it and give to me. Please help I'm so over being hurt by guys.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You're in more than a rut with your boyfriend. Not only won't he put out sexually, he refuses to give to you on any other level either. You're dating a passive aggressive.

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I Have So Much Love to Give

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dear Dr. Love

I need your help please. I was marriage for 11 years my exhusband was violent verbal and physical infront of our child, and now I am divorced for 10 years and its very very lonely, and I don't have family here in Australia.

I'd love to get married again when the right person comes along. I have fear about men in case they will treat me again the same as before. I am intelligent and good looking from within.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I understand that you are afraid to be hurt again. First read my answer entitled 'Wanting a Better Home Life. ' If you are afraid to fall into another relationship with an abusive man, there's a good chance that your unconscious mind knows that you, too, are caught in a repetition compulsion.

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Your Wife is a Borderline

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I was wondering if i can make my marriage work? My wife has borderline personality disorder and she's been feeling down. She will go from wanting a divorce to glad we're not getting one.

I'm trying to get help for her but it's hard when you live out in the country. All the good docs. are taken or they are an hour or more away. I won't give up I'm just wondering how often this problem puts a couple through divorce.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You do sound like a devoted husband and your wife lucky to have you as her life partner. For my readers who aren't familiar with borderline personality disorder, I think a break explanation is needed.

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Lost My Direction

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I am going through a divorce. We were together 23 years (married 18 of those). She is a young 53 and I am 50. She had a major devastating change over the summer. She had a lite TIA due to stress according to her doctor.

And then not long after that she was fired from her job as a Manager. She had her own click of employees and she was suspected of having an affair with a surgeon. Well they hired a person to come in and clean house. She was chosen to leave but they refused to allow her to apply for any other position because of the above.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

No wonder you feel that you've lost your direction. Your wife has pulled the rug out from under you! In fact, she's committing psychological murder and financial rape.

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I'm Ignored

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love

I'm a 30 year old black female in love with a wonderful Jewish man. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little more than 1 1/2 yrs and we have a problem. Well actually the problem is his parents, they have a problem with their son dating me, i know this cause they told him this.

I've never met them they've made no effort to get to know me, and my boyfriend and i are heading in the direction of marriage. These are his parents and i would love to have a relationship with them, I'm not going anywhere i'm gonna be in their son's life for a very long time.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are in a painful situation. I know you want a relationship with your soon to be in laws, but before you can focus on that we need to improve the communication between you and your boyfriend.

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