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Affection

Kind of Jealous

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hi Doc

how are you? I hope you're doing fine. It's so good to see a free website online that has a lot to offer and to meet such a knowledgeable person as yourself!

Let me introduce myself. My name is khaledah. I am 21 yrs. old and have been married for 1 year. I love my husband a lot. I'ts just these last few months have been hard for us because I think this is where the hard part of the first year comes in.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I am so glad that you appreciate the 'free' advice columns that I offer. You may have noticed that I haven't been updating my advice column and weekly sex questions for many weeks now.

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I'm Desperate

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dear Doctor Love,

I need your help doctor. I really need some good advice. The main topic is about a girl that I have known for quite sometime, one that my feelings go out of control for. We dated for awhile this summer but we didnt let it work because we were going in different directions for college.

Its so hard to describe her and how much i feel for her. I've never met a girl that has ever made me as happy as I am like when I'm with her. In my heart she seems so perfect. So perfect in every aspect. I love how she is and everything that she does.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Your letter is so sad. Reread it and you will see that you sound so starved for love and affection. The love you have for this girl, sounds in many ways like the total love that a young child has for his/her mother. Mother is the center of the child's universe and nothing and no one else exists but her.

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Falling in Love with a Widower

in

Start of a question about Dating

Greetings Dr. Turndorf,

I been dating a great man for 8 months. He's been a widower for 2yrs+. I was separated for 2yrs and now divorced for almost 2yrs (due to infidelity on my ex-husband 's part) and have a 10yr old boy. This man I been dating has no kids.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I hear how much you love this man and he does sound wonderful.

There are two things going on here. The first is what appears to be a resistance to let go of his wife; and the second is fear of becoming close to you.

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Boy Things Changed the Week We Got Married

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I met my husband 3 years ago, but things kept us apart until 16 months ago. He was very attentive and could not wait to be with me, always calling me (sometimes 6 or more times a day), and couldn't wait to make love to me.

We got married 9 months ago and boy things changed the week we got married. He never expresses affection even when I ask him to do certain things like hold me. If I tell him I feel we have problems, he tells me I think too much.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

What a mess! Your guy sure has some issues to address. The only problem is that his character structure is more like a suit of armor. He is completely defended against his feelings what is going on inside himself.

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I Want the Butterflies Back

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hello,

I just have to clear my heart. You see, I'll be 19 in a few months and 6 months ago my 25 yr. old boyfriend (who was 24 at the time) and I got engaged. We weren't together very long at all before we became engaged but we both just knew that it was right. That we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It sounds to me as though you are confusing lust and love. In the early days of a relationship a person feels obsessed by overwhelming passion for the object of his or her affection. He thinks of nothing else and feels the butterflies that you describe.

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On and Off Again

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dear Dr. Love:

I'm 29, single parent I have been seeing a really great guy for two years. It's an on and off thing. We get along well and respect each other, or so I thought. Lately I've been wondering what we are doing and when it's all going to end, you see, we have made no commitment to each other and I thought that was great and he did too.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Wow are you conflicted. You said, even though I don't want a serious relationship (I have some issues) I can't continue to just hang out with this guy. I hear you saying that you don't want to continue seeing this man without a commitment and yet you don't want a commitment.

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Should You Cut Your Losses

in

Start of a question about Dating

I had been seeing my ex-girlfriend for 3 years (she is now 19 and I'm 23) before we split up. We had a great relationship and we had a lot of fun and plenty of affection but there was always one issue that got between us - University.

I always worried that when she went to university, which was local luckily, she would lose interest in me and we'd fizzle out. We didn't have any problem expressing our love for each other and we both knew how each other felt.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I wish a had a crystal ball that permitted me to see into your girlfriend's soul. You say that she makes irrational decisions when she's under pressure. In other words, she's impulsive and goes into action in order to discharge her emotional pressure.

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You Read His Diary and Found Out His True Feelings

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dr. Love, I've never asked for advice from anyone but my friends before but I've read your website for years and I hope you can help me.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Even though your boyfriend hasn't had an actual affair, the existence of this other woman is impacting on your relationship in much the same way that an affair does. For some time you have sensed that your boyfriend was attracted to this woman, then you read his diary and found confirmation that he is more attracted to women with a heavier build that yours.

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How to Convince Her to Spend Some Alone Time with You?

in

Start of a question about Dating

I was away from the object of my affection for two months. When we returned to school and she saw me for the first time she instigated a conversation, gave me her number and we made plans to hang-out together.

It wasn't a very eventful or exciting evening, but we got a chance to hang out together and talk - only we weren't alone - she brought a guy friend with her. With two people it would have been an intimate bonding experience in the comfortable confines of my dorm-room, but with three people there was more pressure to entertain and less opportunity to talk one-on-one.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

What a clear question. It's so short and sweet and very clear. The only way for us to be sure why she brought along another guy is to get inside her head and/or ask her.

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Christmas is too Hard for Him

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I have recently reconciled with a man who I have been previously involved with for many years. We always end up breaking up because he seems to be a workaholic.

We are in our mid 50s and have both been married before. This time he is offering me a more serious commitment and marriage within a year. I am approaching his offer with hope, affection, and caution.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

What an intelligent question! I heard you say that you have left every relationship you've been in and I sense that you are wondering if your expectations are unrealistically high. The bottom line here is that you need to be clear on your own bottom line; that is, you need to decide what you will and won't tolerate, and what you can let slide.

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