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Commitment

Long Distance Lovelorn

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Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

I am hoping that you can help me. I have been in a relationship with a guy for several months, and things up to this point have been going very well. Since the start, we see each other frequently, talk every day, etc. We have had our arguments, but nothing really serious.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Dear Long Distance Lovelorn,

I hear how worried you are that you might lose this man. In reality, this guy has already abandoned you by taking the promotion. He never discussed it with you and simply took the transfer.

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Drug Addiction and Mental Illness

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Start of a question about Relationships

Dearest Dr. Turndorf,

I hope that you are doing well and that you are in good health. Thank you kindly for all the help that you provide to those who are in need. It is deeply appreciated.

Please help me. I need to ask you questions that I desperately need answers for. My name is Lara, I hope that you remember me. . . My father was very abusive verbally, psychologically and physically with my mother and my brother and sisters. He traumatized us and I fear that the damage is permanent and will destroy my whole family.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I am so sorry to hear about the ongoing problems that you are having with your family. The aftershocks of your father 's abusive behavior just keep on coming!

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In Love or E-Love?

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Start of a question about Dating

In Love or E-love?

As of Dec. 13th 2009 I have been in contact with the love of my life. There's just one small complication, I met him on a chat site.

We had both logged on because we were bored and we talked for hours before we finally gave out our email/IM addresses. That first night we stayed up until 7 am. I have never felt so connected to another person.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

In your letter I hear two different fears. The first that I will address is your fear that he won't like your body. I suspect that this is not an issue. When a man cares for a woman, his love for her makes her beautiful and her flaws fade away. Your own self-image and lack of confidence is the real issue, not how you actually look.

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No Time for Sex

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Start of a question about Sex

I am in love with a girl.

On my own part as guy I love sex but I am busy with my work and do not have time for that, and i so believe that without sex our relationship won't be stronger, pls advice me on what to do.

 

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Working people throughout the world seem to manage to find time for sex!

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How Can I Make Sure our Love Lasts Forever?

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Start of a question about Relationships

I am deeply in love with my new girlfriend and I want to know what we can do to insure that our love lasts forever.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It's great that you're writing to me before problems arise. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! The most important thing that you both can do is insure that you handle your angry feelings properly. It's easy to be loving toward each other when you're feeling loving feelings.

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Torn Between Two Lovers

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Start of a question about Dating

I have a girlfriend whom I love and I have another girlfriend whom I love too. How should I choose which one should I go for?

It's kinda difficult since I love them both equally and with pure heart. I want to have them both but practically it's next to impossible. So please enlighten me how to find peace of mind since I can't afford to lose both or even one for that matter!! Thanks

 

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You say that you aren't willing to lose one or both of these women. Since you are unwilling to choose, my first question is why can't have two girlfriends? Are you receiving pressure from one or both of these women to make a choice? Are you leading a double life and lying to them both?

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He's Got Cold Feet

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Start of a question about Dating

MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A YEAR. WE LIVE AN HOUR APART AND IT HAS BEEN HARD BUT WE HAVE MADE IT.

WELL, WE SAID IF WE WERE TOGETHER A YEAR ONE OF US WOULD MOVE TO LIVE TOGETHER. HE MOVED TO MY HOME TOWN, AND AFTER A WEEK SAID HE NEEDED TO GO HOME AND TAKE CARE OF A FEW THINGS.

WHEN I ASKED HIM WHAT OUR PLANS ARE, HE SAYS WE ARE PLAYING IT BY EAR. I WANT PLANS AND GOALS THOUGH. WE GET ALONG GREAT AND I HAVE TWO KIDS THAT HE IS GREAT WITH.

BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE HE IS UNDECIDED. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

It sounds like your boyfriend has cold feet. He moved to your hometown but he didn't move in with you as you had agreed one of you would do.

I would talk to him. Tell him that he seems undecided and ask him to talk about his mixed feelings.

Ask him how he feels about you and the relationship. What works for him and what doesn't? Ask him what part of him wants to hold back.

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I Left to Wake Her Up

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Start of a question about Relationships

Hi, Doctor

Four months ago, I got separated after 23 years marriage. I'm seeing someone but missing the ex. I am so confused because I think I love the other one. I do have feelings for her. But I don't want let go of the ex.

My stomach hurts when I think the ex is with someone or talking to someone. I just found out that she profiled herself on match. com. I read her profile and talked to her about it. She said she was lonely and needed to talk to someone.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I understand that you left your wife in order to give her a wake-up call. Unfortunately, the wake-up call has backfired big time. You became involved with someone else and she's already begun to look for another man.

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Engaged to be Married and Still in Love with Your Ex

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Start of a question about Relationships

I am 29, mother of 1 (3 year girl) engaged to her father who I have been with for 6 years. Wedding date is 2. 5 months away.

From the beginning our relationship has been a rocky one. Lots of arguments, many in front of our daughter. But if my daughter had not come into the picture I know I would have broken it off long ago. But 6 years later and I haven't had the guts to do anything about.

I love him cause he's the father of my child and because I have spent the last 6 years with him. I know that he loves me totally and would be crushed to find out any different.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

This is really a tough call. You say that you still love your ex. No matter how much you love him, you did end the relationship with him. I assume that you ended the relationship because there were some serious problems in that relationship.

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Will He Ever Be Ready to Commit?

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Start of a question about Relationships

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He's 27 and I am 20. Although there is an age difference, he asked me to move in.

Well last week he tells me that he's not ready to move in together. He had a past relationship that lasted four years and said it ruined their relationship.

I know I am still young in years, but I am worried if he will ever be 'Ready' when it comes to the 'commitment'?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I understand your concern. You said that your boyfriend had a previous relationship that lasted four years and that'it' ruined their relationship. I assume that the'it' to which he refers is living together. I would be interested to know why he thinks that living together is what ruined the relationship.

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