Home ›

Ex Lovers

Long Distance Relationships

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I am a 22 year old lesbian and have been in a relationship for 3 months now. I met my gf online. Just giving it a try and we clicked from the start.

This is love at first sight. She lives 4 hours from me, and is a professional working at a firm. We're both college educated, as well, a very intellegent woman.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Your girlfriend is afraid of being abandoned by you. Her ex-girlfriend dropped her and she's afraid you're going to do the same. I know you think that she'd feel less insecure if you told her more often how beautiful she is.

Read More

Can I Trust Her???

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love,

I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year now. She has made many mistakes in the past. I thought her lifestyle of smoking and drinking was very bad and asked her to change for me. She willingly said she would.

I had also asked her to stay away from one guy in particular becuase he really liked her and hit on her all the time, she also said she would. Not alone, i have also agreed to change some aspects of my life for her and to stay away from just about every other girl except for her.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You do have a problem. What I see is that this relationship was built on the promise that she would make changes for you. The requests for change that you made sounded to me as though you were testing her love for you. If she loved you enough, she'd quit smoking and drinking for you.

Read More

Confused in Texas

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Turndorf,

I am starting to fall for a girl that I have known for three and one half years. We have been friends for just as long. She was the girlfriend of a good friend of mine for two years. They just broke up about two months ago.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You are prepared to be faithful to your male friend by not allowing yourself to pursue a romantic involvement with his ex. . Before you make such a sacrifice, you should be sure that your friend would actually value such an offering.

Read More

He's Having Sexual Dreams About His Ex

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I am engaged to be married. I have been with my fiance for 3 years. Twice while sleeping my fiance has said his ex-wife's name while dreaming. By the other things he was saying it was obvious that this was a sex dream.

I felt very hurt by this and concerned that perhaps he has feelings for her still. He has reassured me that he doesnt and says he feels really bad about it but has no recollection of the dreams.

Is this somehting I should be concerned about? They have been divorced 5 years. He dated a few people in between meeting me and his divorce. Thank you 

Start of Dr Love's Answer
I understand that you are feeling threatened. You know, just because a person is married (or soon to be married) doesn't mean that he/she isn't going to feel sexual attraction for others (meaning not their life partners). He may, in fact, still feel sexually attracted to his ex. But, obviously they were not compatible in other areas, and he divorced her. I wouldn't be so

Read More

Be More Aggressive

in

Start of a question about Dating
Hi doc,
 
I am a 30 year old male who is very attracted to a 29 year old female. I have been chasing her for about 4 months now and she's responded but just not the way that I want her to.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

 You've done a great job explaining the situation. I'm very sorry that you are being treated the way you.

Read More

He Says He Still Loves His Ex

in

Start of a question about Dating

Hi!

My boyfriend broke up with me. He said he was still in love with the last person he was with before me.

He was in prison for 2 years and she is still in prison. He has only been out for 6 months and we were together for 4 months. He started playing world of warcraft (online computer game) and slowly I was seeing him less and less and then he told me he was still in love with her.

Do you think it's the game or he is really still in love with her? We had a good relationship. I am so confused and never expected him to still be in love with her.

 

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I hear that he broke your heart and I'm very sorry for you.

You asked me whether I think it's the game or whether he does indeed love his former girlfriend. Unfortunately, I'm not in his skin, so I would have no way of knowing. On the other hand, the answer to the question doesn't really matter, does it?

Read More

He Went to Lunch with His Ex and You're Eating Your Heart Out

in

Start of a question about Relationships

My boyfriend and I have been dating now 9 months.

Last week, he had off work one day so I had asked him if he would like to go to lunch with me that day. He told me that he had already made lunch plans with someone else. When I had asked him who, he said his ex!

Now, he said that he wasn't going to tell me because he didn't know how I would react to him going out with her. I would have been really mad if I had found out afterward that he had gone to lunch with her without telling me, but I told him that I was fine with it, that it was ok that he go.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I think you need to ask him what having lunch with the ex means. I think you have two issues: The first is his tendency to avoid telling you something that he fears will upset you. The avoidance defense, as is the case with all defenses, eventually backfire big time.

Read More

She Lets Her Ex Continue to Abuse Her

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dr. Turndorf, I really need your help.

I've been in a relationship with a woman for almost a year now who has been in abusive relationship (physical/ emotional) in the past. I really love her and want this relationship to work out.

She has a child with one of the of the abusers. She doesn't quite know how to pull away from him. He's using the child as the bait to continue his control.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I completely understand your predicament. You want her to feel like you're on her side rather than blaming her for always falling back into the same old unhealthy habits.

Read More

He Keeps Going Back to His Ex

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Hello, OK I have a question. I like this guy named David. He says he likes me too. But he's always telling me that he has to get over his ex who he's been with for 3 years and they have a baby together.

He was staying with me for about a month then all of a sudden he started staying with his ex again but still calls me every day at least twice and comes over to visit but doesn't stay.

What can I do? I really want to be with him.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

Your boyfriend is obviously highly conflicted. You're in a very tough spot because there isn't much you can do to resolve his ambivalence.

Read More

Will He Ever Be Ready to Commit?

in

Start of a question about Relationships

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He's 27 and I am 20. Although there is an age difference, he asked me to move in.

Well last week he tells me that he's not ready to move in together. He had a past relationship that lasted four years and said it ruined their relationship.

I know I am still young in years, but I am worried if he will ever be 'Ready' when it comes to the 'commitment'?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I understand your concern. You said that your boyfriend had a previous relationship that lasted four years and that'it' ruined their relationship. I assume that the'it' to which he refers is living together. I would be interested to know why he thinks that living together is what ruined the relationship.

Read More

Syndicate content