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Immaturity

Not Sure I Should Go Back with Him

in

Start of a question about Dating

I was involved with a guy. We broke up because he was too immature. We remained friends. I love him.

Now he wants to be in a relationship with me again. What should I do? I'm not sure if I want to go back, especially if he's not going to take us serious.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have doubts about starting over because you're worried that he won't take your relationship seriously. Tell him just that! Describe exactly what he said and did (or didn't say and didn't do) the last time around.

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She's Stabbing You in the Back

in

Start of a question about Dating

I really need some help. Me and this girl met about a year and a half ago. We quickly became very good friends, but we didn't date because she was seeing someone else.

However, I grew to love her. . . and apparently, supposedly she grew to care much about me too eventually.

She broke up with her boyfriend and we started to date in October. By January, we had broken up ourselves, but neither of us wanted to lose our best friend.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

I think you feel used and backstabbed. She says she's your friend. She calls you on the phone. Then you hear from others that she's crying about her crazy ex-boyfriend--you! I would talk to her. Tell her what you've heard. Tell her that you thought that you were friends. Now that you find out that she's talking behind your back, you feel played or used (or whatever you do feel).

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Mature Man?

in

Start of a question about Dating

Dear Dr. Turndorf, I Have Been Dating My Boyfriend For About 2 And A Half Years We Are Planning On Getting Married Within The Next Year But Some Thing Is Really Bugging Me About Our Relationship,

He Is Very Immature.

I Have Had Discussions With Him About How He Needs To Save Money And Get his Drivers License And Find A Better Job. He Is 20 Years Old And He Still Lives With His Mother


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You didn't say how old your boyfriend is. If he's also 20 years old, then his behavior isn't that surprising. Men mature at a slower rate than women do. At 20 a guy isn't even fully grown up. In fact, many parts of his body, even his vocal aren't done maturing. And, his brain isn't yet fully developed believe it or not.

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You are Feeling Ashamed

in

Start of a question about Sex

Hi,

I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and we've been having sex for about four months. I'm on the shot so I'm not worried, that's not the problem.

The problem is that afterward I feel kind of bad or ashamed of what I just did. I don't know where it's coming from. When I told my mom she was pretty upset because I thought I might be pregnant too, so she was totally upset, but I wasn't. My best friend was also pretty angry and disappointed.

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You said that your mother thinks you should have waited to have sex. You are feeling guilty and ashamed, because you have absorbed her values. She doesn't approve, so you don't approve of your actions.

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Your Husband is Immature

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dr. Love,

My husband and I often get short tempered and snappy at each other. He can be very immature and It annoys me to the point that I just don't want to deal with him. Some of his behaviors involve meowing in public, screaming at me while I'm driving and humming the theme song to his favorite television show (Only the first 3 measures) over and over again.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

It sounds like your husband is furious with you and the way he expresses this fury is by behaving in ways that annoy you--just like a kid would do.

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Can You See What I'm Up Against?

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Help!! I am engaged to someone who has two children (3 and 5). At first they were not an issue, but as time passed I came to realize that he was easily manipulated by his ex wife, and often spineless. In addition, he refuses to reinforce basic respect and consideration principles with his children when they deal with me.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I can surely see what you're up against. What worries me is that you need me to validate what you already know--meaning that you don't trust yourself sufficiently. If you waffle with me, then you surely waffle with with your fiance, and he will play upon your doubts and try to wear you down. Your fiance has a real problem.

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This is a Doozy

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love:

I am a great fan of your advice, and I need some of your superb wisdom. This is a doozy, so hold on.

I met a woman through friends last July. We had both been hurt by less than admirable partners. She had a 4 yearold, the father never married her, was controlling and not loyal to the relationship. She had moved out on her own 8 months before. We hit it off immediately and had a fantastic soul connecting relationship until Nov when her ex started with 'I've got cancer and won't see my son much longer etc etc. '


Start of Dr Love's Answer

Thanks for the kind words about my advice to others. Let's hope that my answer to you hits the spot.

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Woman Who is Falling for a Gay Man

in

Start of a question about Relationships

I have not been able to find in any 'self help' books or even in any type of articles in magazines. My 'problem' started about 3 months ago when one of my friends, who I met through my best friend about a year ago, told me one night after a small tiff, that he likes me A LOT!


Start of Dr Love's Answer

I do understand your problem. You are in love with an unavailable object, and that sure is painful.

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Confused and Used

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Dear Dr. Love, I am 45 years old, divorced for nearly 5 years. For nearly 2 years I have been dating a woman whose husband left her for another, much younger woman 2 years ago. She was my high school girlfriend 27 years ago.

She ended our relationship in college because she wanted to be single and free for a while. Within a year she married the man she was with for 22 years. We met again shortly after her separation. Things progressed to a very intimate and exclusive relationship, although she lives 80 miles from me.


Start of Dr Love's Answer

You have reason to feel used.

She is using you like a puppet that she dangles from a string. Her telling you that your feelings are stupid and immature is cruel and insensitive. A person who wants a relationship with you, or even a friendship should be interested and concerned about how her behavior is landing with you.

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Am I Overprotective?

in

Start of a question about Relationships

Do you think me as overprotective if I worry about my fiancee's whereabouts and his life if he does not call or page me within a three hour period? Do you think me immature if my emotions ( I cry for every fight we have) get the best of me?.

I love him like crazy and I don't know what I'd do without him. I've been thru so many bad relationships that it is hard to trust men, I always think the worng things and I end up screwing things up. I don't want to lose him because of my insecurities, can u help me in overcoming these hills?

Start of Dr Love's Answer

You sound utterly terrified when your fiancee is out of your sight. You said yourself that you don't know what you would do without him, and this is precisely the issue.

You are living every minute as though he were on the verge of leaving you!

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