Confused

You have been traumatized by this unexpected break up and you need to listen to your heart and do what you feel that you need to do in order to give you peace of mind. You asked me if it's normal to want to contact an ex. following a break-up.

In matters of the heart, there is no such thing as normal. Clearly you have been damaged beyond belief by this unexpected break up. You clearly still care for this man and don't want to let him go. Because you weren't ready to end the relationship, letting go of him isn't easy. You are still holding on to the hope that he will come to his senses and you can't let go and move on so long as you think that there is a chance that he will return to you. For this reason you want to contact him and make sure that there is, in fact, no hope.

It seems to me that his lack of contact with you to date is a nonverbal communication that says that he doesn't wish to resume ties. I think that you don't want to see this because this realization is painful and will force to grieve and give him up. So long as you hold out hope, you don't have to face this horrible reality.

Before you actually talk to him, make sure that you are clear on your motives. Are you approaching him because you secretly hope to change his mind? If you approach him from this point of view, you will be setting yourself up for another emotional battering.

If you want to contact him in order to make sure that it is truly over and that there is no hope before you begin the process of grieving and moving on, then know that and be clear on your purpose. Good luck to you and let me know how you do.