Crying, Grieving and Hopeless

I am so sorry to hear how you've been suffering. I know you have asked me if there are remedies that you can take to increase your sex drive and performance, and I list all sorts of products in my Wellness Dictionary.

Some of these products are Progest cream, which is a natural source of female hormones (estrogen and progesterone). Also, recent research has shown that low testosterone levels can decrease sex drive. And, a substance called pregnenolone has been shown to boost testosterone levels.

Finally, Wild Green Oats have been shown to restore sex drive in women who once had a good drive.

However, I am not convinced that these remedies will solve the problem. Why? Because your sex dwindled right after you uncovered the previously buried memories of sexual abuse.

Because of the concurrence of the two events, we can say with confidence that the loss of feeling is related to the emergence of the memories. And, for this reason, remedies won't solve a problem that is caused by an emotional trigger--the surfacing of painful memories.

This being said, don't give up hope. Because there is something we can do. I want you to understand why your body went numb. Understanding is the first step to healing the symptom.

The physical numbness is a type of psychological anesthesia. It is an unconscious mechanism designed to protect you from the painful feelings associated with the memories. The anesthesia first affects the mind, and if you notice, you seem quite cut off from your emotional reaction to the revived memories.

In fact, you even seem in denial--asking for remedies to fix the problem. This denial is another form of anesthesia. If I forget about \it\ it will go away.

The problem with this type of psychological numbing is that it also extends to your body. Not only is mind playing dead, so is your body.

And, the only way for your body to wake up is for your mind to do the same. At this point, we have no choice but to help you face the memories and the feelings attached to them. When you stop numbing yourself to your psychic pain, hurt and anger, you will find that your body wakes up.

As I tell you this, I am reminded of a woman that I treated some years ago who was sexually numb, like you. She was also numb to all her feelings. As I helped her to get in touch with her feelings, her body came to life.

I promise you that the same will be true for you. Now, the question is how are we going to help you feel your feelings. You need to find a therapist that you trust and you need to take baby steps forward, feeling a little at a time.

You can talk to me more about this by phone, or we can meet in person. The bottom line is you can heal. I promise you that.

So, I hope that I have answered your question, and I hope to hear from you again soon.