Do I Stop the Communication Cold?

Hello Dr. ,

I did reconnect with my childhood sweetheart from over 25 years ago. We have gone on a few dates. I agree with your paradigm that we often tend to heal childhood wounds through present relationships.

I am a textbook example. I am aware that I only desired a romantic relationship with this ex as one way to heal the broken ties with my now deceased father. The ex lives with a lady. He has expressed that he would like to have an 'affair' with me.

Of course I declined. I will not be any man's woman on the side. Plus I try to respect other women's territory. I wanted to have a closer platonic friendship with him, but he only contacts me every so often, not enough for friendship building. Now I simply want to drop the friendship cold and not be in contact at all.

My question to you is how do I just stop returning his infrequent calls and emails and walk away without feeling the need to put closure on our relationship? I would most like to have one last heart to heart with him and mutually agree to end the friendship with no hard feelings.

I so need him to know that it hurts me to keep in contact with him because I still hold out hope that we can be together as a couple or as good, close platonic friends. Neither option has or is happening. So do I stop the communication cold or set up one last date for closure's sake?

Thank you for your time.