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Flustered in MN

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 12/10/2001 - 8:00pm
December 10, 2001

Question
Dr. Love, I must be freakin loosin it! I am a 23 year old single mom of two boys from Northern Minnesota. Their father and I broke up over three years ago. My heart was completely broken. I swore off dating for two years. Out of fear of being hurt again. But eventually started dating again. Nothing too serious. Heck, the dates I went on didn't even get past the first kiss. I was scared to get involved with anyone. Plus the guys around my area were complete pigs. When I was feeling all hope was lost, my cousin ended up giving me this number to a singles hotline where you meet men from all over the country and have conversations with them. I got curoius one night and called it. No one really interested me except this one guy, he was from Georgia. We exchanged a few messages on the hotline but never really talked live. I decided to give him my cell number and the next day he called! This was a year ago. We have talked on the phone to each other ever since at least 2 times a week. But we have never met each other face to face. We've exchanged photos and are planning to finally meet some day soon. Here's the thing. After about 3 months of talking with him and getting to know his inner self I realized I was falling in love with this man I've never met and now a year later I am completely and undeniably in love with him. We've talked about marriage and the possiblitly of one of us relocating or both of us relocating to another state to start our lives together. Am I completely out of mind or are my feelings genuine? I've never felt this kind of love before its so strong and unconditional. And I think my feelings are way stronger, and more pure for him then what I ever felt for the boys' father. What is going on? I need your advice, please help. Flustered in MN

Answer

You seem to be worried that because you haven't met this man in person that your love for him can't be 'real.'

Why not? Throughout the ages, love affairs have been conducted through written correspondence alone! The fact is that you have gotten to know this man quite well over this last year. What is the difference if your conversations have occurred in letters as opposed to face to face conversations?

Through your written and phone discussions and interactions, you have come to know and love this man. I assume that you have taken my compatibility test in order to verify how suited you are to each other in all the areas that matter most for long term satisfaction. If you haven't already done so, take the test and check out aspects of the relationship that you may not have thought to question. The test won't let you miss a trick. If you achieve a high score, that 's all the more verification that you are right for each other.

Naturally, it would be good to date in person and find out how well you interact face to face. Living together will give you even more information about how well you mesh in day-to-day life. When you take my test and receive a high compatibility score, you should feel more confident to follow what you already know and feel in your heart: that this relationship deserves a run for its money!

- Doctor Love

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