My boyfriend and I have been going out on and off for over 1 year. Im 6 months pregnant with his child and he wants me to give the is baby up. What should I do? He says if I dont give the baby up he cant be with me and there is nothing to work out. Does he really love me like he says he does? We have sex alot and is he just using me?
We are very young. Please get back to me . Thank you!
I am very sorry to hear about the bind you're in.
I am afraid that your boyfriend isn't treating you properly. When he tells you that he will drop you if you don't give up the baby, he is blackmailing you. He is telling you outright, give up the kid, or lose him. What kind of behavior is that!
In a healthy relationship, neither partner power plays the other. By power plays I mean using threats of any kind in order to force the other partner into complying. You have a right to expect your partner to sit down with you and discuss all your thoughts, feelings, wishes and options.
I know he is young and thinking of himself and his future. But, what about you? How can you hope to have a relationship with someone who doesn't consider you? If you choose to give the baby up in order to keep him, what do you think will happen to you?
You will be telling him that he call steam roll you, and force you to go against your will. You will never have a sense of self or dignity, if you give him this kind of power. At this point, you need to focus on you. Find out how you feel about the baby. Do you want to keep it? Put it up for adoption?
Clarify what you want, independent of him. When you figure that out, you can go to him and tell him that his manner of dealing with you is unacceptable. That you expect him to open himself to your feelings. Tell him that no relationship will ever be possible for him, with you or anyone else, if he continues to flex his muscles and strong arm his partner.
This is a very tough place for you to be in. It is hard enough to be young and pregnant with your partner's support, let alone find yourself without his support.
Please go and talk to a therapist before making any decisions. Believe me when I tell you, the choice to give a baby up, or keep it, will affect you for the rest of your life.
You need to be sure that you are making the right decision for you. You don't want to be haunted for the rest of your life with guilt for having not followed your heart.
Let me know what you decide and how you make out.
- Doctor Love
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