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Haven't Become Pregnant

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 06/18/2002 - 8:00pm
in
June 18, 2002

Question

When my boyfriend and I make love, we don't use any protection. I used to be on the pill but I quit taking it seven months ago.

I am worried that something may be medically wrong with me because I haven't gotten pregnant yet. And another issue that I think could be a part of that cause is that when he ejaculates, his semen doesn't seem to want to stay in me. It comes right back out all over the bed and my underwear.

It's embarrassing and I feel that that could also be a medical problem with me. Could you tell me the reason that I haven't gotten pregnant yet and why I can't hold my boyfriend's semen inside of me?

I ask you this because I need to know if this is normal or if there is a medical problem and I should consult a doctor. Thank you for your time.


Answer

The first thing that jumps out at me in your letter is your tendency to blame yourself. You make it sound as though something is wrong with you because the semen spills out of you. It spills out of everyone!

You need to see how you automatically assume that you haven't become pregnant because something is wrong with you. Did it occur to you that something is wrong with him?

There is anecdotal evidence that indicates that worrying is sufficient to prevent pregnancy. In other words, your worrying about what's wrong with you, could be standing in your way.

So, first of all relax. Give yourselves a full year of trying without worry. Then, if you still haven't become pregnant, go together to see a fertility specialist. I bet all is going to be fine, once you give yourself a break.

- Doctor Love

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