He Cheated on You With His Ex.

Your boyfriend seems to say that he wouldn't have had sexual contact with his ex. if he hadn't made the mistake of engaging in phone contact with her. He must have a very long phone cord! All kidding aside, talking on the phone hardly made him sleep with her. Nobody forced his dialing finger to ring her up, let alone sleep with her.

The bottom line is that this man doesn't have enough impulse control to be trusted. He said that he had unfinished business with his ex. and that that was why he was speaking with her. How was sleeping with her going to solve his unfinished business? It sounds like his unfinished business is more like he isn't finished with his ex. . He resumed sexual contact with her because on some level he isn't ready to give her up. I heard you say that your boyfriend has a habit of destroying the things he cares for most.

He reminds me of someone bent on killing himself, but before he does he makes sure to turn the gun on everyone in the room before finishing himself off. What's to say that he won't take you down for another death ride in the future. He is, in fact, telegraphing his intention to engage in another destructive act when he says to you, 'all the happiness that we have now might crumble again. ' He is warning you of his intentions to be destructive once again. It's a matter of time before his need to self destruct places you in the path of his loaded gun.

He needs therapy. He needs to understand why he engages in such damaging acts. When he cheats on you by sleeping with his ex. , he ends up breaking two womens' hearts. His acts against women may be designed to pay back his mother for example. Then, he may feel guilty over how he has dumped his rage, which may explain why he arranges to punish himself by taking away something or someone that is important to him.

In the end, people who engage in acts that harm themselves are really mad at others. This pattern of turning rage back on oneself begins in childhood, and if left uncorrected continues into adulthood. He seems to be caught in a vicious cycle. He vents his rage on women by cheating on them, for example, then he feels guilty and punishes himself by another act that is designed to take something away from himself, and then everyone around him ends up in the path of his bullets. The bottom line is this man isn't safe and he's telling you so himself.

Until he can figure out the origin of the rage (it traces back to childhood) and work to resolve it rather than vent it in such damaging ways, you are in great jeopardy.