He Hangs Up on You

Your boyfriend isn't behaving properly and he needs a lesson in manners. Hanging up on you is an act of aggression. So is ignoring you when you talk to him. You are being mistreated and allowing him to continue is sending him the message that it's all right with you if he mistreats you.

I know you love him, but he needs to get the message that he must treat you properly if he wants to continue being with you. If he senses that you will keep him no matter what, then he has no motivation to behave himself. He must feel unbalanced and a little worried. Otherwise, he's going to continue to run you over.

If you're ready to take care of yourself, then the next time he ignores you will say, "It seems as though you aren't listening to what I'm saying. Am I saying something that 's upsetting you?" You could also say, 'When you ignore me when I speak, you're telling me something, but since your communication is in the form of behavior, rather than words, I'm not sure what you're telling me.'

As for the hanging up, tell him: Hanging up on me isn't acceptable. To have a relationship, you need to learn to put your feelings into words, not actions. What is it that I say or do that makes you mad to the point of hanging up on me? Get him talking about his feelings. He needs to elevate himself and begin to behave in a more mature and human way. Helping him to speak, not act, is a win-win situation. He will become a better person and you will feel better about yourself for having put your foot down. At the same time, he will respect you more for taking care of yourself. As his respect for you increases, he will naturally feel inclined to treat you better.