He Refuses to Address Your Issues

Your boyfriend is telling you that he hasn't a drop of psychic energy available to deal with another issue. For whatever reason, his college problems are stressing him to the limit of his capacities. When you come to him with your own problem, he simply can't deal with another thing. In order to protect himself, he blows you off.

While I understand his problem, this doesn't make his behavior acceptable. Read my book, Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First), which will show you how to properly bring your issues to your boyfriend in order to maximize your chances for a successful discussion that leads to a resolution. Read the book and become a conflict resolution expert before you attempt your next discussion.

One skill you are going to need to adopt is what I call, 'Knocking on his Psychological Door.' This skill refers to the necessity to knock before entering someone's mental space. Most people think that it's all right to just barge in, but, as you can see, people are more or less available. You want to make sure that the person is mentally at home and available before you launch into a discussion of what's bugging you. If you wait till he gives you a green light, you have a better chance of his listening to you.

Also make sure that you master my X, Y Formula (fully described in my book) so that you present what's bothering you in a way that he can swallow. My X, Y Formula consists of presenting what was said or done that upset you, and how you felt about it. When dealing with fragile, sensitive partners, it's best to word your sentence so that the word 'you' doesn't get said. For example, instead of, 'I felt angry, when YOU called me a cow. . . '  say instead, 'I felt angry when I was called a cow.'

You will also want to preface the X, Y Formula with what I call a Disclaimer, which is a sentence that reminds him that you are on his side and not out to deprive him of vital parts. The Disclaimer sounds like this, 'Honey I know that you would never do or say anything to intentionally hurt me. . . ' He is more likely to listen to you if he feels that you aren't out to get him.

After you've read the book, and when you aren't upset, calmly tell him that you have something important to discuss. Then ask him if this now is a good time. If he says it isn't,, ask him to make a date with you to talk. When the time comes, tell him, 'I know how stressed you are with school. I want us to find a way of discussing issues that arise between us without adding to your burden AND without leaving me to feel dismissed. Do you have any suggestions.'

I have given you a lot of pointers. The book will take you to the finish line. Keep me posted on your progress.