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He Walked out Without a Word

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 04/23/2007 - 8:00pm
April 23, 2007

Question

Dear Dr Turndorf

I am a widow of two years. I started dating my neighbor and it was wonderful. We always went camping all summer, we were best friends. He is forty eight and never been married. He hasn't lived with any one in nineteen years. He moved in with me a year later and after a few months I felt there was a line in between us and then one day he just walked out on me.

And two days prior I asked him if he was thinking about leaving and he said no. He didn't leave a note or anything. Could you please give me some kind of reason for this problem. Thank You


Answer

The fact that he was still single at age 48 tells us the guys has serious difficulties with relationships.

There are many possible reasons why he just ended it. One thing is sure, this man doesn't handle his feelings well. Because relationships stir up all kinds of feelings, we all need to learn to talk not walk. He doesn't have a lot of impulse control, which means that when feelings get strong, he goes into action and withdraws in order to escape the unwanted feelings.

I can only guess what feelings came up. He may have been uncomfortable with too much closeness (afraid to love you and lose you if you were to die and/or desert him). He could have felt smothered. He could have felt angry. He could have felt frightened. In the end, it doesn't really matter. The man was too fragile to tolerate his feelings and talk about them.

I am very sorry for your loss. In the future, use my Ready for Love? consult in order to evaluate whether a man is actually capable of forming a lasting relationship with you. Use this consult before you get in too deep and you'll spare yourself a lot of heartache.

- Doctor Love

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