How to Break Up With a Stalker

I can see why you are worried. No matter how damaged or fragile he is, you can't stay with him out of terror or pity. You seem to be afraid that he might hurt himself or you. You need to honor your fear signals.

Obviously, you can't control what he does to himself. If he is that self-destructive, he belongs in a hosptial. You can't allow his suicidality to hold you hostage. As for his homicidal tendencies, if you truly believe that you are in danger, then you are going to need to contact your local police department to discuss your options.

I have known women who have entered safe houses after breaking up with unstable characters. They have remained in these safe havens until the initial shock of the break-up has worn off. The only other thing I can tell you is to protect his ego in the break-up. Don't say or do anything that would make him feel emotionally harmed or attacked. This could trigger a self-destructive reaction.

Likewise, you don't want to blame him for the break-up, which could trigger a rage reaction toward you. The safest, middle-of-the road approach is to put the blame on yourself. You could say that you have realized that you aren't ready for a relationship.

That some unresolved issues have come up for you and you need to be unattached to address them. The key is to stay away from his ego, be neutral and non-attacking. That's the best I can suggest to you and I wish you good luck.