I Get Involved too Soon

The fact that you find yourself getting involved too soon is a symptom of a deeper problem. You won't be able to stop getting involved too soon until you heal the deeper problem.

The deeper problem to which I refer can best be described as emotional emptiness. This feeling of such great emotional hunger leads you to grab onto a man as though he were a life preserver.

Unfortunately, latching on for dear life actually backfires and never heals the wound. To heal the wound, you first have to define exactly what happened during your formative years that left you feeling starved. Were you neglected emotionally or abandoned outright by mom or dad or both?

When you identify the source of the hunger, then it's time to work on healing it. Individual and group therapy is important. You can also do inner child work yourself (see John Bradshaw's books) in which you visualize your abandoned and neglected child at various points in your childhood.

Next imagine going to her and comforting her by supplying the exact treatment that you wanted from your parents. As you begin to feed yourself, you will feel less hungry inside and the result will be that you won't latch on to men so quickly.

Let me know how you do.