Love and the Divorced Woman

You say that you want kids of your own but feel that the fact that your friend has kids is a roadblock for you in terms of moving forward with the relationship. I think you need to clarify why you feel blocked. You say that you like her kids but feel that they are standing in the way of your pushing the relationship further. Why? There are many possibilites. I'll throw out a few. See if any fit.


1. You come from a blended family (meaning, your parents remarried and you grew up with half-brothers and sisters). Maybe things were less than ideal, in which case you may be afraid that the problems in your first family will get played out again. (That doesn't have to happen if you're aware of the problem and take steps to correct it. )

2. You are afraid that you would not have a fresh start with your friend. There will always be the shadow, the reminder that there was someone else in her life. Her kids would be that constant reminder.

3. The kids issue is a smoke screen for a deeper fear of connection. Maybe you have doubts about your friend or fear that something about the relationship wouldn't work.


If none of these three possibilities fit, see if you can come up with what is blocking you from moving forward. Once you realize what is really holding you back, the block should pass. Best of luck.