Mr. Heartbroken

I can see why you are so upset. Your girlfriend just slit your throat without warning. The fact that she broke up with you right after she found out that her mother cheated on her dad is suspicious. What's more, the impulsive nature of her break up with you is also highly questionable. Impulsive acts are the result of a build up of emotional tension; the impulsive act serves to release some of the pressure. For example, a person finds out that her husband has cheated on her and goes out of control by sleeping with a bunch of strangers in order to discharge the feelings of rage.

Now back to your girlfriend. Her mother cheated and she broke up with you. The break up was an impulsive act that was designed to discharge her own terrible feelings. If I had to guess, I would say that she was feeling awfully anxious and the break up helped her to eliminate the anxiety. What could have made her anxious about her mother 's cheating? Perhaps she felt afraid that you would cheat on her. So, before she could suffer the pain of being cheated on, she ended the relationship. In other words, she died by her own sword instead of dying by yours. The fact that she refuses to talk with you about her actions or your past is further indication of just how fragile she is and just how incapable she is of tolerating her strong feelings. When you ask to talk, you are awakening all the feelings that she has tried to eliminate by getting rid of you.

Now the question becomes: what can you do with this information? You have nothing to lose at this point by telling her what I said. The worst that can happen is that she will run even farther from you. This wouldn't be the worst thing in the world at this point since you, yourself, said that you don't think that you can tolerate a friendship with her. You would also be wise to point out to her that she can't keep running for the rest of her life. Life constantly triggers strong emotions, and she needs to learn to tolerate these feelings without taking off. If she doesn't learn how to do this, she will end up alone and miserable. Encourage her to resume the relationship with you and not make any decisions until she becomes clearer on all the thoughts and feelings that led up to her break up. No actions, life changes or important decisions should be made when a person is upset. Otherwise, one risks to make bad choices, choices that aren't based on what is best, but are based instead on the urge to discharge a bad feeling.

If you can get her to stand still, then make sure that she enters therapy right away. If she refuses to get help, then you will need to see that you are lucky to be out of the relationship with her. She would have made your life miserable and ditched you at some other point in the future when she couldn't tolerate her feelings. As for remaining friends, only you can decide what feels right for you. If it doesn't feel right to do so, then don't. I hope she agrees to stop running and get help.