Sex Is Just Not Awesome

You say you've never had an orgasm with any partner. You didn't say that you have ever had an orgasm with yourself.

The first thing you need to do is to learn to masturbate. Many women who have never experienced an orgasm during sex with a partner find that they can have an orgasm during masturbation. Once you learn how to pleasure yourself, it is much easier to take your 'show on the road' and show your partner what feels good to you.

There are books and tapes designed to teach a woman how to masturbate to orgasm. One book is called, For Yourself. You can also check in the back of Cosmopolitan Magazine, which lists all kinds of educational books and videos.

If you still have problems, then it would be good for you to get checked out physically. Make sure that you aren't suffering from a medical condition, such as hormone imbalances, diabetes, low thyroid or systemic candidiasis, all of which can interfere with orgasm.

If you check out fine, then see a psychotherapist to find the origin of your inhibition. Being raised in a very religious or repressive family can cause sexual dysfunction as can prior sexual abuse. You may also be afraid to 'let go' with a partner for fear of looking foolish. You may also be afraid to open up for fear that you will suffer that much more if and when the relationship ends.

I think that you are just fine. The most likely problem is due to your never having learned to pleasure yourself. Without this knowledge, you would be clueless about what your partner needs to do in order to stimulate you to orgasm.

Take your time, relax, discover your body and then teach your partner what you have learned. By all means, stop faking it. This is not going to help your partner to learn what really feels right for you, and it will encourage him to continue doing what doesn't work for you at all.