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She Shows You Her Breasts and Crotch, but Won't Give Her Phone Number

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 11/18/2002 - 8:00pm
November 18, 2002

Question

Dear Dr Love,

I have been having an online relationship with a woman for about 3 months. She says she loves me and wants to make love to me when we meet and I feel the same about her. However each time we are about to meet in real life, something happens usually involving her family.

When on YM web cam she was happy to expose her breasts and crotch area but not her face. She has never said where she works or given her address. She lives in a small town in New Zealand about 100 miles away from me.

The last weekend we were going to spend a weekend with each other but then on the Wednesday she emailed me saying her sister had had a serious car accident in Brisbane, Australia and that she had to rush off there to be with her and to look after her 2 children. She says she will not be back to New Zealand for some time possibly not before Xmas.

She refuses to give me her contact phone number in Brisbane or her address saying her brother in law does not want her to give them to me. The only way I have of talking to her is on her mobile which is expensive.

I am beginning to think she is playing a game and has no intention of ever meeting me. What do you think? Thank you


Answer

When you say that this woman is playing games, you imply that she is intentionally blowing smoke up your webcam. I am more inclined to think that she is simply terrified of becoming too close to another person. She can show her body parts, but when it comes to putting all her parts together and taking her entire self out to meet you, she freezes up. You need to play it very cool with this type of person. Don't press to meet her; don't push for her number. Sit back and let her come after you. Keep in mind that while your distant, unavailable stance may bring her closer to you, if this woman is terrified of closeness, she may come nearer to you when she feels that you aren't pushing for much intimacy. Then when you decide to reciprocate her advances and come in closer to her, she will again run for the hills. With this woman, what you see is what you get--and I mean that literally. She'll let you look, but don't touch. If you, yourself, have issues about being close to another, then this woman is perfect for you. If, however, you want a more intimate connection, then she doesn't sound like a good bet.

- Doctor Love

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