She Wants You, but Does She Love You?

The first thing that I see is that your relationship is very strained because you can't see each other often. Obviously this girl likes you, but because her parents are restricting her ability to see, she is very likely holding back her feelings. It would be terribly painful for her to allow herself to fall for you completely and then have to face not being able to be with you.

So, I think she is putting herself on ice as a form of self-protection. You seem to be taking her self-restraint as a sign that she doesn't care for you. I sense that you threaten to break up as a test of her love. Then when she becomes upset at the threat of losing you, you become temporarily reassured, but the reassurance is short lived and the cycle starts all over again.

You also seem to be playing games rather than being direct with her. Waiting to see if she likes you enough to write you letters, rather than telling her directly what you want is a game. She isn't a mind reader and would have no way of knowing that you would like to receive letters unless you tell her.

The only way for the two of you to have a relationship is to be honest. Tell her how you feel about her. Ask her if she is holding back as a form of self-protection. Then talk about how the two of you can go forward given the situation. Would it be possible to speak with her parents and obtain their permission to date her?

It's going to be difficult to develop a tie with her without her parents' support. The only hope for your relationship is total and complete honesty and self-disclosure on both your parts. Good luck. This is a tough situation.