Should i Be Worried about My Husband Contacting this Woman?

What a painful situation you're in! I understand the bind you're both in. You were jealous in the past, which naturally led him to be a bit sneaky this time around, in order to not trigger further jealousyTo resolve jealousy, one must identify the emotional issues that trigger it. Jealousy can be defined as the fear of being replaced by another. In other words, jealousy is really the fear of...(Click for full definition.). He engaged in avoidant behavior and, guess what. Like all defense mechanism, his avoidanceAvoidance is a method of dealing with conflict that attempts to avoid directly confronting the issue at hand. Methods of doing this can include changing the subject, putting off a discussion until...(Click for full definition.) backfired. He aroused your jealousy and suspicions even more. Now, you're clamping down on him and this entire fiasco is rapidly turning into a power struggle. The problem is the more you tell him that you don't want to have this friendship, the more controlled he feels.   I am going to suggest something that may sound off the wall, but it will break the power struggle. What if you told him that you don't want him to feel controlled by you and you don't want to limit his friendships. All you ask is that he tell you up front when he texts or has contact with this woman or any other friend. This way you will feel a part of his life, there will be no secrets.   This is the only strategy for breaking the power struggle and bringing him into the open, which will ease your feelings of jealousy and mistrust.   Then once the heat of the struggle subsides, then you might want to talk to him about how he's feeling about the marriage. Is he happy? Is he getting his needs met? Hearing where he's coming from and responding to his needs is the best way to affair proof the marriage.  

Please let me know how you both do.