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Should You Hold out Hope

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 02/18/2003 - 8:00pm
February 18, 2003

Question

Thank you so much for your time in this matter. I have been very distraught about this situation and hope that you are able to advise.

Me and my ex-boyfriend Tony meet each other in college 6 six years ago. Admittedly things moved fast and I had our daughter the next year who is now 5 years old. The bond and love that we have for one another is very strong however after a six year rocky relationship, which I would attribute to things moving too fast, we decided to separate.

It has now been eight months and of course I never expected for our breakup to be permanent. However, he now has a new girlfriend that he has been with for the past 6 months, and the kicker is that she has MOVED IN with him! To add insult to injury I asked him what was going on and he told me that he loves her!

Of course, we still see one another occasionally due to our daughter who stays with him every other weekend. And we are always most cordial. I still feel a strong pull between us but he is resisting it.

Should I walk away and cut my loses? Or should I hold out hope for the reunion of my family?


Answer

Your ex. has a girlfriend of six months with whom he lives. He has already moved on and I wonder why you still hold out hope for a reunion. Has he given you any indication that he wants to get back together?

You say you feel a strong pull but that he is resisting it. How do you know that he has a strong pull? Has he said this? Are you interpreting his words or actions? Or are you projecting your own wishes onto him?

I would say that you need to ask him outright whether there is hope here or not. You could say that you have sensed that he is resisting the pull to return to you and wonder if you are right. You can also ask him if you should hold out any hope for a reunion.

Based upon his response, you will know whether you should walk away and cut your losses or not. I hope that this situation resolves in your favor.

- Doctor Love

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