Wanting to Break Up, But Scared for Your Safety

If you are afraid for your physical safety, you need to get professional help. Contact your local hospital, mental hygiene clinic, family doctor or United Way Helpline and ask to be referred to a battered women's support group. The group will give you the support and guidance that you are going to need to get out. Don't even think about trying to handle this alone.

There are many options available to you, and the path that you choose will depend upon your unique set of circumstances. After hearing your story, the group will help you devise the best plan for you. An Order of Protection may be needed or you may have to temporarily move into a safe house. Without more facts, I wouldn't presume to suggest a plan for you. What you are going to need to determine is whether your boyfriend is a real risk or simply playing on your fear, literally blackmailing you into staying with him. In many cases, finding the courage to "call a man's bluff

makes his tough guy routine melt like a sidewalk pastel dissolving in a rain shower. If this guy is all bark and no bite, finding and using your own aggression may be what's needed to send him running. If, however, he is a true risk, a man who can't control his physical impulses, then you are going to need outside help (legal authorities, etc.) to help you get out. The group members and the leader will help you break free of his tyranny one way or another. The key is to safely set yourself free. Let me know how you make out.