What to Do When You Love Someone Who Doesn't Love You?

I can't even imagine how much you are suffering. My heart goes out to you. The most salient point that jumps out at me is that you don't want to let go of him and you don't want to move on. This explains why your grief is unending. As long as you suffer over him, you are still tied to him--tied in grief, but still tied.

I think that you want to move on, which is why you wrote to me. So, here are three suggestions for how you can begin to move on. You are clearly in touch with your sadness and grief. In order to move beyond the grief and begin to let go of your ex. , you are going to need to access your angry feelings. On some level you must be angry with him for his dropping you. If you can find these feelings, you will discover that they will help you to let go of the sadness as well as let go of him.

If you can't access the angry feelings on your own, then find a therapist who can help you. Better yet, join a therapy group, which will help you realize my second suggestion. My second suggestion is that you surround yourself with people who love you. Part of the reason why you are so bereft is because it sounds as though your husband was your entire world. You only loved him and were only loved by him. When he left, you found yourself left with nothing.

You need to begin to form attachments to other people. These attachments will help you to see that he isn't the only person that you can love. You need to dilute your attachment to him, and the best way to do this is by forming attachments to others. Joining a therapy group is a step in that direction. Last, but certainly not least. When we find ourselves emotionally stuck and unable to move on, unfinished business is usually the cause.

In therapy, you are going to want to explore how your attachment to your ex. relates to your history. You will also want to explore how your belief that you will never love another relate to your past. And, finally, you will want to discover what old wound has been activated by his leaving? If you tackle your problem from all these angles, you will begin to see light at the end of the very dark tunnel that you find yourself in now. Just keep reminding yourself that there is light and there is love in your future. Hang in there and heal.