Home › What Should I Do Dr. Turndorf?

What Should I Do Dr. Turndorf?

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 10/10/2005 - 8:00pm
October 10, 2005

Question

Dear Dr. Turndorf,

I have been very close to this girl for over a year now. I have really liked her and think about her every waking hour. I asked her out before but she says that she just wants to be friends. She has turned down other guys for the same reason.

I have become closer than ever to her and am not sure if I should try asking her out again. She is a very responsible person and very nice. She is kind of flirty. I see her every day at school and talk to her between passing period. We watch our high school's football games together too. I am not sure if this is enough info?

Thanks for reading this!


Answer

You sound like such a doll. This girl is sure giving you mixed signals. She is flirty but then says she wants to be friends and nothing more.

Since you are friends, do you think that you could talk to her about the mixed signals and ask her what you should do. You could tell her honestly that you really like her and want to date her but you don't know what to do.

Does she want you to respond to the flirty side and be persistent in asking her out--as a way of testing to see how much you care; or should you take her at her word and stop asking her out and just be friends.

What I suggest is a direct and open way of dealing with the situation. It takes guts but, hey, what do you have to lose? You aren't dating her anyway? So either she's going to tell you, let's just stay friends, in which case you're exactly where you started or she might surprise you and say that you should keep on asking her out until she eventually yields.

You also could encourage her to talk about her hesitation to become more involved. Many fears, conflicts, and resistances can be resolved by simply talking them out! I want to hear what happens!

- Doctor Love

Did you find this article helpful, informative, inspiring?

If so, please help me keep this site alive and growing by spreading the word to others or checking out my books and programs. You can:

  • Share this

Get Your Ex Back With Dr. Love's Relationship Rescue Kit Syncrohearts Board Game