When You Discuss Other Men He Changes the Subject

Changing the subject is a defense mechanism that is designed to protect him from uncomfortable feelings. I assume that he feels uneasy or anxious when you talk about other men because he has feelings for you.

On the other hand, he discusses other women with you, and it isn't clear what he is saying when he does this. Is he telling you that you aren't the only one (don't try to get too close) or is he testing to see whether you are jealous of his ties to others? You need to lay your cards on the table and describe what you are observing. To do this say, 'When you discuss other women with me, I wonder what you are trying to tell me?'

If he bites on the open ended question and fills in the blanks, great. If he doesn't give you valuable info then you can make your question more pointed, by saying, 'I wonder if you are telling me not to expect an exclusive relationship with you because you have other women in your life?' You can do the same type of questioning around your observation of how he behaves when you bring up other men.

The bottom line is the two of you aren't being direct with each other about what you want out of this relationship. Do you want an exclusive tie? Does he? Are you both too afraid of becoming closer? Put your fears on the table and talk about them and let's see where you end up. Talking honestly doesn't mean that you will try force the other into a type of relationship that he/she doesn't want. You just need to be clearer on where the other stands. Let me know how you make out.