You Don't Wanna Do it

When I read your letter, I wondered if you have any sex drive at all. You say you have great chemistry with this fellow, but great chemistry means a strong sexual attraction and it doesn't sound like you have a strong sexual attraction to him at all. Or do you have desire for him and do you inhibit the desire? Did you once desire him once and don't any longer?

Do you have sexual desire for other men and not for him? Do you have no sex drive at all? Answering my questions, will help you figure out the origin of your problem.

Obviously if you feel desire for other men and not him, then you aren't attracted this man. If you feel no desire at all for him or anyone else, then we need to figure out why.

In speaking of your lack of sex with him, you said, 'when it comes to THAT'; using the word that instead of a more sexually explicit word made me wonder if you are inhibited sexually. The most common cause of such an inhibition is being raised in a repressive household and/or having been sexually molested.

I don't have enough information to make a diagnosis of the cause of your sexual shut down. Answering my questions will put you on the path to figuring out where the problem comes from. Then you can talk to me or another therapist about solving the issues you uncover.