You Found Your First Love on the Internet

I hear how tortured you are. Your step mom did a terrible thing to you. She meddled and broke up your relationship with your first love.

I know you wonder if your ex should have been your life partner. I understand also that your doubts have been fueled by the fact that you recently found each other again. In the coure of conversation, you told him that you love him. When he heard how you felt and feel, withdrew from you and cut off contact. This is because he isn't in a position to reciprocate.

He's engaged and obviously doesn't want to be put in a position of conflict. Surely he loves you, but his life has moved on and he's committed to someone else. Having ongoing dealings with you would put both of you in a very awkward situation.

The statement that you made about if things don't work out with your husband that you will end up back with your first love. I felt alarmed when you said this and I think he did too. You're playing with fire. Reading this made me think that you might unconsciously do something to make sure that things don't work out with your husband. I sense that your ex read your remark the way I did, and he ran from you in order to not jeopardize his current relationship.

I know you feel that this man was your true love. But remember, you're comparing a relationship from your youth. That relationship was wine and roses. You both never suffered the trials that all long term relationships endure. When you compare your long-term relationship with your husband with the romantic love affair of your youth, a love that is forever frozen in time, it's understandable that you'd want to jump ship and return to that bliss.

It's very hard to understand or accept our destinies. It's hard to accept that what happened was'written' and meant to be. It's hard to understand why, but you married the man you were meant to marry.

Even if you were to go with your impulse and start a new life with your ex (presuming he'd agree), you would one day find yourself in the same place with him that you now find yourself with your husband. That is, in an established relationship that isn't always bliss. Do you really want to throw away the life you've built?

I'm thinking that you need to grieve the loss and really let your ex go. Then work on resolving any issues or conflicts that may be tarnishing your feeling of love and passion for your husband. In addition, make an effort to bring more romance into your marriage. No matter how long you've been married, it is possible to rekindle the passion that you once felt for your husband.

Make each day a rebirth. See your husband with fresh eyes. Allow yourself to fall in love with him anew each day. It is possible. I know. When you do this, you won't feel so tempted to return to a love of long ago.

Remember, we are not only capable of loving two people at the same time, we are capable of loving thousands of people with all our hearts. Statistics show that there are 10, 000 people in the world who would be perfect life partners for each of us. When you were eighteen, you met a man who was one of those 10, 000. You married another one of the 10, 000 potential perfect partners.

You've made a life choice. Now live your life fully without looking back and without regret.