You Puke When You Kiss Your Girl

This is an unfortunate problem and one that is being triggered by your unconscious mind. Your vomiting sounds like an unconscious defense mechanism.

If you've been reading my column for a while you know that defense mechanisms are designed to protect the self from dangerous or unacceptable feelings. There are hundreds of defense mechanisms, from denial to avoidance to projection to displacement, the list goes on and on. Your vomiting helps you to expel a feeling that you are not able to process.

In order to figure out what this feeling is, ask yourself, 'What feeling would I have (if I didn't expel the feeling by vomiting it out of myself) have when I kiss and become intimate with my girlfriend?' You may find that the feeling that you cannot stand is tremendous fear, perhaps fear of closeness. Behind the fear of closeness may be a fear of rejection and/or abandonment. The origin of these fears surely originate in childhood when a person learns that getting close to another person (parents) is dangerous and hurtful.

It is also possible that you are vomiting up feelings of disgust for women. Perhaps you are wrestling with homosexual urges that you can't quite swallow.

I have given you a way to begin to analyze the meaning of your symptom. Once the meaning is clear, you can begin to work on healing the feelings that you haven't been able to face. You may need the help of a therapist to complete your healing process. Let me know how you make out.