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Your Girlfriend Has Never Had an Orgasm

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 06/27/2000 - 8:00pm
June 27, 2000

Question

I've tried every trick in the book for my girlfriend to have an orgasm. we've been going around for one and a half years and she's never had an orgasm in her life.

We both enjoy sex immensely but I feel that if I go, then she should go too. Whenever I try to take her there, she just makes me stop whatever I'm doing - then she just shivers and her whole body shakes.

I can't take her further than that. Please advice what I should do or what she should do. She says she enjoys without the big 'O', but I think it's unfair.


Answer

You clearly have an agenda that she doesn't share. She actually makes you stop so that you can't give her an orgasm. The question isn't what you can do to take her there; she's telling you that she doesn't want to allow you to stimulate her to orgasm.

We need to find out why. Pushing an orgasm down her throat, if I may say, isn't tuning in to her. We need to ask her why she pushes you away? Are you hurting her? Is she in pain? Is she afraid to let go sexually? Is she afraid of being too vulnerable?

When you stop shoving your own agenda on her, you will then be able to focus on her and find out why she avoids having an orgasm. Once she identifies the issues, then we can begin to resolve them. Pressuring her to come, isn't going to resolve the underlying issues.

- Doctor Love

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