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Your Guy is Reading Male Personals

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 02/20/2001 - 7:00pm
February 20, 2001

Question

Hi,

I am a 23 year old female and I am living with my 31 year old boyfriend who I have been seeing now for 2 years. Today, I found out that he was looking up'male looking for male' personals on the computer while I wasn't home. I am finding this very disturbing and I am unsure what this means.

Do you think that he is questioning his sexuality? He says that he is happy with me. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I will be able to continue my relationship with him if deep down he wants other men!

Please help me.


Answer

You need to ask him what his behavior is telling you. It is one thing for a man or woman to have homosexual urges, which is normal. It is quite another matter to act on these urges, which he is doing by looking up men in personal ads..

He needs to have a frank discussion with you and he needs to honestly tell you if he plans to act on his urges. If he is willing to commit to keeping his urges on the level of fantasy, then you are'safe.' However, if he plans to go into action, you need to know this beforehand so that you can decide whether or not you wish to remain in the relationship.

- Doctor Love

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