Your Husband Has No Follow-Through

I can see why you are concerned. Instead of nudging him to act or follow-through, try getting him to talk about what thoughts and feelings have him frozen in place.

He needs to get the idea that you aren't trying to take away his security blanket (the not following through feels safe to him), you are simply trying to understand him. You might start the conversation by saying, 'I have noticed that you have a hard time following through on goals you set for yourself and I am not trying to push you to do anything you don't want to do. . . I simply want to understand what makes you freeze in place. '

You might continue by explaining that being immobilized, staying inactive is actually form of self-protection (technically an unconscious defense mechanism), much like a deer frozen in the headlights. It is a survival reaction gone awry, because the defense is actually harming rather than protecting him. He needs to identify what he thinks is the danger associated with taking action.

If you can get him talking, I am sure that he will admit that he is scared to try and fail. I am also sure that his self-esteem is low and that he never felt encouraged by his parents. All of this will come out if he opens up. As your talks evolve, you might tell him that the only people who fail are those who don't try. You might also remind him that the now famous writer William Faulker had something like four hundred rejections before his writing was finally accepted for publication.

If you can't get him talking and resolving his issues, then go together to a couples therapist. Let me know how you make out.