You've Been Waiting for Five Days for Him to Return

The real problem here isn't that you are clueless as to his intentions, it's that you are trying to change a man who doesn't want to change. He wants to boss and control you and doesn't want to hear how he comes across. He wants you to understand how he is and accept him on his terms. You aren't playing by his rules and he's throwing a tantrum.

You have only two choices: accept him as he is or give him up. Instead, you are playing games. First you threatened to end the relationship, something that you had no intention of doing, in order to wake him up. Then, when he didn't respond the way you wanted, you told him that it was over, hoping that your tactic would bear fruit and that he would come crawling back. It's been five days and you haven't heard from him. His silence sends the message loud and clear: he doesn't care to change.

Now the ball is in your court. You need to ask yourself if you are willing to be with a man like this. More importantly, you need to ask yourself why you want to be with someone who treats you so badly; and last but certainly not least, you need to understand why you are so invested in trying to change him.

Read my Advice Archives under Unfinished Business and Repetition Compulsion and you will understand why you are so attached to him and why you are so invested in trying to fix him. I sense that you are trying to 'fix' a parent who was unresponsive to you. Whenever we choose an unsuitable partner, we are unconsciously choosing someone who resembles a parent who let us down; the unconscious fantasy being that if we can fix our lovers, then we will feel that we fixed our parent, and voila, our childhood wounds will be healed.

You have to know on some level that your attempts to change him are an exercise in futility. You are going to be as effective in changing your boyfriend as you were in changing your parent! He doesn't want to change any more than your parent(s) did. The only person who can change is you. You deserve to be with someone who cares about your feelings. You can't rewrite your history; you can't go back and change what was and wasn't done right the first time around. You can grieve and move on to a healthier relationship. This is what I hope for you.