How Do I Show the Guy I Can be a Good Girlfriend?

September 1, 2010

Question

 

I really like this boy and homecoming is coming up so I really wanted to ask him to homecoming. But before I even got to I mentioned homecoming to him (but not asking him out yet) and he said he liked this girl but he wouldn't 

tell me who. So it was the same day I planned to ask him when he told me that. I asked him at the end of the day and he said he would think about it. Now I know he is seriously thinking about it because he is a pretty nice guy and he 

told his friends that I'm funny and I make him laugh so I hope he would say yes. Well the question is what should I do for the time being to show him that I can be a great girlfriend for him? We are good friends now but it's 

really hard for me to express my feelings, so please help I really want him to go to homecoming with me. Is there anything I can do or help to make that happen?


Answer

 

Men young and old are drawn to women who make them feel safe and comfortable, women with whom they can laugh, women who are full of surprises, and women who make them feel admired, appreciated and wanted.

The trick is to not come off as hungry or needy. The stance that is needed is paradoxical. You let him know you're into him but at the same time you must have a "Zen" attitude, one that says you are fine without him; that you have a full life and you are complete. You can't convey this feeling unless you truly do have a life! In short, a guy needs to feel that you do like him, but he must not feel that you are desperate. Which leads me to the next point.

Men are attracted to women who are wanted by other men. This is built into their biological make up. You see, human and animal males are biologically programmed to compete for eligible females. The females' job is to choose the best provider from among many possible suitors. The males' job is to win her. 

So, one thing I recommend is your not being so forward with him. From now on, be warm and caring, but let him ask you out. Let him pursue you. Meanwhile, date other guys. He will sense that other guys are in the picture, without your saying it directly.

Let me know when you set the wedding date!

- Doctor Love


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